Bonjour XD You've just stumbled onto my blog. Enjoy =]
MEOW
Moi.
Basics.
Name: Andrea J
D.O.B: 04.02.91
Age: 21 years old
Nationality: Australian
Heritage: Chilean
A Life Worth Living.
Musac.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
10:59 AM
Hola!!! I'm back and I finally have a moment to blog =) I wanted to when I first got back a week ago now but I've been busy living and enjoying things too much to get round to it. At the moment I'm waiting for a train back to cabra, stayed out last night so I look a little bit walk-of-shamey but haha it's such a beautiful day, a little windy but that nice weather where you can stand in the sun for a bit and you feel reallll toasty. It's nice XD This week has been crAzy busy in the best way! I've caught up with a lot of people in a really good way, did most of the rounds and caught up with a lot of friends who I missed heaps <3 this week was also heavily dominated by helpin out for Michelle's 21st. It was great! I love party planning and organising especially something of that magnitude. You know setting up the details, decorations, table arrangements and that. She basically had a mini wedding hehe it was awesome and finally a 21st speech I can say I was proud of =) In year 12 I went through a phase of thinking I could do event planning, in particular weddings, as a career if things didn't work out with nursing. Lost that and then luckily loud tribe fell into y lap and I got to see a whole different side to events, this time music and festivals. It's all fun! Any event. I still have a lot to learn but it's always exciting getting so wrapped up over preparing just for one day and then when it all comes together is really rewarding. Like last night!
Everyone looked beautiful! I can't wait to see the pics ^.^ and today another party I get to help with and set up a little. It's always fun. And then getting to enjoy the party after. There's a really nice balance of stress levels when it's not your party but a friends, because you can help out and give your friend a sense of relief and at the same time because it's a friend you also get to enjoy the party without stressing too hard while the party is going. Whereas if you're Working the event the stress is high and constant and it's slightly less fun because you can't enjoy the fruits of your labour as much. I don't know, I should persue this somehow =)
Anyway I'm almost at cabra but I wanna tell you about the retreat. Ahhh it was a real eye opener. It deserves a whole dedicated post! Can't do it now. Ttyl xx
Today is the day I leave for the Vipassana Meditation retreat. I'm excited, but kind of nervous that I will get caught up in my thoughts and get homesick and act like one of the whiny kids who chuck a tantrum the first night of year 7 camp o.O
For those of you who don't know what Vipassana is, here is an exert from wiki. I figured that was the most basic explanation because if you're new to meditating like I am, you might get all muddled up in the retreat websites description.
Vipassana is one of the world's most ancient techniques of meditation...It is a practice of self-transformation through self-observation and introspection to the extent that sitting with a steadfast mind becomes an active experience of change and impermanence.
I actually heard about this for the first time from my dad around January this year. We were going to go to a centre in Malaysia together later this year but I thought I should give it a try here in Aus b4 I fly away and possibly waste his time and money. He suggested we go to it because we were both in awkward stages of our lives and needed something different to kick us into gear and into the right direction. I understand that practising Vipassana won't change specific things in my life but I'm hoping that giving myself the time to breath and reflect might help somehow. I'm a little unsure about what to expect in terms of what I will gain from this experience, especially since the reviews and blog posts I've read are all really vague. Everyone seems to think it's life changing, amazing and highly recommended but no one can accurately explain why or how. Hopefully I can answer those questions and blog about it when I return and maybe give anyone considering this practice a bit of insight.
I think the main thing that needs mentioning is practising 'noble silence' while you're there for the full 10 days. This basically means no talking or interacting with anyone in any way. I'm not too fussed about not using my voice for 10 days but I know I will find it extremely difficult at first. I rely extremely heavily on people and technology to block myself from thinking too much and getting upset or from getting bored. I know that's unhealthy but that's why I'm also going to this. It will be a shock to my system not having my phone on me or a computer in site but I'm hoping that it will help me detach and be less reliant on all of that when I return.
lol..my main worry this arvo was more about wondering if people will be serving us food directly or it will be on tables ready to go...because not saying thank you or looking my servers in the eye is going to be so damn hard!
I'm also really excited because the centre is absolutely beautiful! Here are some pics from their facebook page:
So apart from the no talking/tec thing which sounds tough enough, there are also a few other things which will be hard to get used to. 4am wake up call, 12 hrs of meditating a day, no exercise and vegetarian food. I'm actually okay with most of that, I'm sure my legs are going to go numb a lot and waking up will be difficult the first few days but i'll get used to it =]
It's also going to be super cold seeing as it's in the Blue Mountains but ...ehhh, it's better than ridiculously humid like the one in Malaysia would have been.
This is what a typical schedule looks like:
4:00 am
Morning wake-up bell
4:30-6:30 am
Meditate in the hall or in your room
6:30-8:00 am
Breakfast break
8:00-9:00 am
Group meditation in the hall
9:00-11:00 am
Meditate in the hall or in your room according to the teacher's instructions
11:00-12:00 noon
Lunch break
12noon-1:00 pm
Rest and interviews with the teacher
1:00-2:30 pm
Meditate in the hall or in your room
2:30-3:30 pm
Group meditation in the hall
3:30-5:00 pm
Meditate in the hall or in your own room according to the teacher's instructions
5:00-6:00 pm
Tea break
6:00-7:00 pm
Group meditation in the hall
7:00-8:15 pm
Teacher's Discourse in the hall
8:15-9:00 pm
Group meditation in the hall
9:00-9:30 pm
Question time in the hall
9:30 pm
Retire to your own room--Lights out
I get my own room, I'm not sure if the bathrooms are shared but I don't mind. I wonder if i'll be really hungry =S
I'm taking the train there and back.
I wonder what it will be like finally being able to talk again. Will I have anything to say? Will my voice be really croaky haha...have you ever had that after being asleep for ages and then not talking for a few hours until you go somewhere/see someone and your voice breaks. Tehehe
I reallllly hope I don't freak out. I think I'll make it. I've heard the 3rd day tends to break a lot of people. I refuse to go home early, especially since so many people don't believe I can accomplish it.
Anyway...on another note. I got my stuff back from Tim. It wasn't hard seeing him which was good, I still love and care about him. I hope that one day we can be proper friends again, I really want him in my life, even if it's just as friends. Despite everything and the millions of times I've complained about the stupid/unfair things he's done, he's still essentially a good guy and someone who knows how to make me happy when he wants to.
I've also been having a very...errrr tumultuous last few days. It's been fun but I'm going to slow down once I come back. I really enjoy partying and stuff but it also makes me feel ridiculously anxious about wasting my life away not doing anything productive. The only thing that keeps me grounded is knowing that come August I will be back on track and I will be a productive member of society. Beh...what a rollercoaster. A few months ago I was complaining about needing to jam in as much living as I could before my newgraduate program starts and I become a proper grown up lol. Now it's too much and I want to slow down haha...balance is so hard to achieve.
Anywhoozle.
I'm out. I'll probably blog from the train.
Bye lovelies <3
xx
Hey, im waiting for the bus. I'm on my way to the movies. I'm either watching The Avengers or Beauty and The Beast. Not entirely sure yet, it's up to friends, I don't really care.
So today was a pretty big bummer. I was meant to be on a train to Byron Bay right now for about a week long trip with Joely-pants but a combination of poor organising, lack of communication and bad timing resulted in everything getting cancelled ={ It's not the worst thing in the world, I mean, now I save money, don't run into the countless problems that we would have had to overcome and there is always next year. Still I was bummed, I had a few reasons for going but the majority honestly had to do with Tim. I wanted to break the cycle of seeing each other so regularly without me feeling like crap in the process. Keeping busy keeps me distracted about thinking about him. Then it became necessary when he told me he was done with me completely, even as a friend. It was upsetting but knowing I had the trip coming up to take everything off my mind was keeping me going. I freaked out pretty hard this morning when the Byron Bay trip didn't work out so onto the Internet I went to look for a solo adventure within my budget, that was last minute and didn't require me to drive. Sadly I found nothing that wasn't below $1500 without me having to camp solo and I don't feel comfortable doing that with my skill range and lack of car.
As a last resort I looked into the Vippissan meditation retreat I have been thinking of doing for the last few months. Luck would have it that a course starts on Monday, so I signed up and it's all sorted. Kurt mentioned that maybe sitting in silence stewing over everything that has been happening lately wouldn't be the greatest of ideas at this point in time and he's probably right. It's most likely going to make things much harder but it also means I can focus and deal with it all in one concentrated block. Plus this trip works out well, it's 'free' and the location is beautiful. It's also a kick start in the right direction for the future. So much needs to change, I'm really not happy with the person I am right now and how I'm handling everything.
As for the Tim thing, I'm mostly just mad now. He decided he didn't even want to be my friend anymore, even though the last 4 months were fine. I can understand changing that friendship, hanging out way less, not speaking everyday, that makes sense. But he's decided to purge me entirely...again. Ugh what an annoying coping mechanism, it's not fair. We're friends =.= It makes things difficult because I love warren and Jamie and spending time with everyone is fun but I don't want to tread on his toes and he was there first, so I feel like I don't really have any right to go even if I am still invited places.
I finally understand the term 'the lost weekends'.
It's Monday afternoon...I started Friday arvo, when did all that happen. It's like an amplified version of the feeling I would get of coming home on a Friday morning at 7am in the freezing cold from the city from going to hot damn every Thursday nigh for weeks on end. And coming Back home in a semi-walk of shame while people are wide awake and heading into work. That's this, but 3 days later.
Interesting. I could keep going but it seems like a bad idea. Oh responsibility. Why do you exist!? This could actually b my longest streak ever, I feel like I owe it to myself to continue until Wednesday because then I leave Sydney and come back a week later. I do have the options open to do that too...ahh such a good opportunity! Is it worth it?
The potential to create a Lost week is quite high.
I've been kind of pre-occupied lately, hence the string of shorter posts. I worked a lot more than usual last week which was great, I was totally lacking funds and now I am paid *relief*.
I even did some tech work which is always a welcome change. It's really fun and stressful in a good way. This event was really good to work on, we had to set up in an abandoned cinema for a short film festival. The place was a mess and as cute as the idea was to hold a film festival in an old cinema, it probably wasn't the best of ideas. The cinema was really run down, they had stripped the venue of all the seating and screening equipment, there wasn't even any electricity in there, my manager had to arrange for it to be reconnected for a few days. Apart from the increadibly dusty floor, there was also issues with sound. Since the venue is basically just a huge, hollow concrete block there was no sound absorption so you couldn't hear some of the films properly. Regardless it all worked out, I don't think my company will be hosting it there any time soon. Sure we managed to fit double the amount of people but the cost of setting up the place and hiring everything probably outweighed any profit.
Stupidly, I forgot to call for work again so I won't be getting any calls in this week which kinda sucks. It just means I know I have NOTHING to do all week. Oh well, it's already Thursday. I just have to wait for Monday for a new week to start so not too long. I don't even really remember where this week has gone. I think I went out for food at canley on Monday. I was sooooo full, it was horrible. I just ordered one thing but man, I felt like throwing up the whole way home and actually dry reached when I got home =( Lol...my stomach kind of shrunk with this whole lite n easy thing. Since I was SO broke last week, I couldn't afford to buy the food so I had to wing it. I was so busy and unwilling to go out and buy healthy snacks and food that I just took the easy way out and just ate twice a day. Breakfast was usually a multigrain english muffin with lite jam and then a mandarin later in the day lol....seriously, we have NO healthy or fresh food at home. The only variety I got all week was the celery and dessert wine at Jamie's place for the (belated) easter picnic. I was so pumped when I got my delivery of food this week. It's not like I was hungry at all last week which is good but I know how bad my food choices were =( On the plus side I still lost weight last week so at least I didn't gain any.
Mostly I've been stuck on reddit, I finally gave in and tried it at some point last week after maybe 3 or 4 separate attempts on the site over the last year where I just didn't care or get it. I finally do, I stumbled onto some subreddits of interest and I haven't left since lol. So much awesomeness.
I went to a concert on Tuesday. It was good, we saw Juan Luis Guerra. Music was brilliant, but I wouldn't normally pay for that. I wasn't terribly keen, I got the tickets for my auntys bday, and I didn't think I knew that much of his music but I knew at least half the songs they played so it was enjoyable. I wouldn't do it again though, that style of music is so..dancey. It's not for a concert. I mean, it would have made no difference whatsoever if I had just been at a club where the dj played his songs back to back. There was no interesting 'live' element to it. Afterwards we went to the official afterparty which had some really mad music. Good times. It's wierd where life takes you. I've been listening to this artist since I was a kid, I never once imagined I would see him live. I would have never imagined my life was going to turn out the way it has. I don't even know if that's a good sentiment or not.
lol...they played this merengue remix at the club of Party Rock haha it was SOOOO much fun to dance to. I'm pretty sure it was a different remix, might have been the dj's own mix. Here's a suitable enough remix:
I've been listening to so much new music lately, reddits the bomb. I don't listen to much new stuff lately because I don't have the energy to go looking for shit like I used to back in highschool. Reddit makes it toooo easy, it's the bomb.
So I was feeling all crappy and lonely today, it sucks. I'm so fucking needy. I basically need human contact 24/7 with people I'm comfortable with, this is much harder to attain when I'm no longer in a relationship. Blah, the only thing that takes me out of that head space is getting lost on the interwebs which seems so sad/lame to me. I should be okay though...just gota keep busy till August *twitch*
On another front, I've been all conflicted and shiz. Romantically. *sigh* My hearts being pulled in all directions and not even by people but by my own ideas. Brain and logic and what I want and how to attain it and is that really the best course of action. I think the biggest player is the idea that I need to do what is 'right' regardless of feelings. But what if doing the right thing isn't what you want? If doing what is right by everyone and for myself doesn't make me happy, is it still right? ...Probably. What is the right thing to do anyway? *sigh* It's so messy in my head that it's easier to distract myself and not dwell because I get ridiculously confused if I let myself think too much. I feel like I'm stuck but I'm also too scared of what might happen if I'm free from everything.
So one day I was hanging out with Kurt and we realised that there are some pretty wacky sayings in the spanish language.
Each Spanish speaking country has their own sayings, metaphors and similies but these are a few that I have collected over the last year or so.
Every time I hear my mum or grandma say a new one I text Kurt XD It has become somewhat of a little tradition for me now =]
Saying: La negrita astuta vende fruta.
Direct Translation: The (Astute, cunning, sly, crafty, fraudulent) cute/little black girl sells fruit.
Meaning: This saying is said as a sort of warning that you are/someone else is a cocktease
Saying: No calientes el agua (si no vas a tomar té)
Direct Translation: Don't heat the water if you're not going to drink tea
Meaning: This is also a sort of warning to someone who is being a cocktease. Kind of like, don't flirt and lead someone on if you have no intention of hooking up with them. It is also a play on words because in Spanish (Chilean at least) the word calentar (to heat) is also used informally as a way to say 'make horny'. So 'estoy caliente' = I'm hot BUT it means I'm horny. If you wanted to say I'm hot (because of the weather) you would say 'tengo calor'
Tongue Twister: Tres tristes tigres trigo trillaron tranquilos tragaron
Translation: Three sad tigers, wheat they threshed (To separate the grain from the straw or husks by mechanical beating), calmly they swallowed.
Tongue Twister:Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira pobre pintor portugués pinta paisajes por poca plata para pasar por París
Translation: Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira poor Portugese painter paints landscapes for little money to pass through Paris.
Saying:Buscarle la quinta pata al gato
Direct Translation:To look for the 5th leg of the cat
Meaning: Looking for problems when there clearly aren't any in that situation, so you're over thinking it and overcomplicating yourself.
Saying: Para ser bella hay que ver estrellas
Direct Translation: To be beautiful you have to see stars
Meaning: I'm guessing this is a fairly old saying because my grandad said it to me once, I kind of fell in love with this little rhyme/mantra. It means that no pain is too great to endure in order to look your best, this particularly refers to women having to wear painful shoes (stilettos) because it makes their legs look hot, wearing tight clothing to show off curves, waxing, plucking, dying hair, and I suppose nowadays you could extend that into getting cosmetic surgery. Just to clarify, my grandad wasn't a dick, I remember the saying coming up because we were watching a show with really attractive women and I was in awe of them and he explained that constructed superficial beauty comes at a price =) Oh and if you don't get the imagery, it's based on seeing "stars" when you hit your head/get dizzy, like if you've ever seen the cartoon representation of stars around the head when they get hit.
*To be continued
To Do.
Here's a list of some of the things I would like to do or accomplish or places I want to visit in my lifetime =]
* I have already been there, done that or started to read that but would like to do it again or complete the task
-- The task is completed and I don't feel the need to do a repeat
