Bonjour XD You've just stumbled onto my blog. Enjoy =]
MEOW
Moi.
Basics.
Name: Andrea J
D.O.B: 04.02.91
Age: 22 years old
Nationality: Australian
Heritage: Chilean
A Life Worth Living.
Musac.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
1:30 PM
Hmm I'm on the bus on the way from uni and I have a lot of ideas floating in my head that I want to blog about but might not finish writing about in 20mins so here is a summary for what I want to cover:
-The validity of the feelings, clarity and 'enlightenment' that you come by when you're not sober.
-The specials. An idea I've had floating around since last night at the meeting that ties into a smodcast episode. Are people born great or are they made that way? The few people I've come across who seem to shine in so many ways. A quote by Kevin Smith on needing a mass of average people to keep things running.
- Is the idea that 'being healthy = being happy" just another myth propagated by the same media machine who seem to equate healthiness with being white, tall and slender, sexually attractive, wealthy and seemingly having a shit load of time to go jogging in the morning, taking yoga classes on the beach and going to the beach alone just to read. Once people start living this life of 5 balanced meals a day and working out for at least 30 mins a day, are they actually happier? Or do they just need to look 'hot'...in which case, will plastic surgery then be more than a simple quick fix and actually work to improve self esteem and confidence? When did it become socially acceptable to advertise plastic surgery over the radio like it's a sale at a DOORS warehouse?
Well that's me for now. I'm at central already, meeting Matt to go to the MCA in a bit.
So I'm stuck outside Fairfield RSL waiting for my mum =.=
On the plus side. Prettiest RSL club I've ever been to, I reckon it's nicer than Star City too. You know why, because Fairfield has the states...or maybe countries... I don't know but the gamblings bad here, so bad they can afford to remodel the entire club and give out free drinks and food to the people while they gamble. It's disgusting. I despise gambling, I have a huge issue with it, I wont even play arcade games.
The sad pathetic people just sitting at a machine, wasting their money away, many even anthropomorphising those ridiculous money guzzling contraptions, patting them and rubbing them for luck. Delusional idiots.
It's repulsive to me, maybe my only established turn off. Even playing once in awhile for fun is stupid to me.
??On the plus side?? the place is beautiful.
It's strange finding something that looks so manicured in Fairfield. Juxtaposed with the 'deal' I walked past going down at the station just a few steps away from the pretentious looking building with staff dressed in elegant suits, coats and gloves. It's all in such huge contrast to the shit that walks in, daggy clothes, addicts and gamblers.
So as you can tell, I disapprove of gambling. I will however clarify that no, I don't think that everyone who walks into RSL clubs and the pokies section at pubs are the scum of the earth. I'm just merely pointing out that they tend to attract lowlives.
Gross.
Anyway I'm here because I've joined yet another committe. This time round I was asked to join by someone I want to keep happy so I agreed. I like it though, I like feeling like there really is a 'community' in Fairfield that are trying to make this place a better and more interesting local to live in. It's an artistic direction sort f group. I'm just here to represent the youth voice of someone from the area who is already involved in this stuff.
It was okay. Free homus ^.^ and the carrot sticks that I couldn't reach for the entire meeting. Taunting me with their orange crunchiness. DAMN YOU BUSINESS ETIQUETTE.
Also I found another pair of shoes I want. I'm really considering getting a pair f ballerina flats but with a wedge heel. These were $140 I think...so screw that, sadly. I think I might just go for the $60 pair even though they're not as nice. I need new shoes so badly. I alternate between a pair of 6 year old ratty chucks and a pair of ripped Dr Martins that are even older, which also happen to give me blisters =.=
Cute yis? Mum hates them. Reckons they look like Minnie Mouses gigantic shoes. This pair are higher than the pair for $120 which were the ones I first had my eyes on:
The $60 ones are even lower which isn't a bad thing. I look silly towering over Tim when I wear heels.
Does anyone else reckon I shouldn't buy these? I've had 3 no so far and 2 yes. I'm mostly unsure just because they feel a little too trendy, like I won't be able to wear them in a years time without looking out of date. I need shoes that last years, versatile, comfy and for now something that I could get away with wearing at a club that aren't heels.
I kind of want to start posting more like I used to, except not on here because it will be the even more boring bits. I used to post pics 3 or 4 times a day just so I could look back and remember where I was and what I was doing. I'm not bothered doing that publicly...that's sort of creepy. It's like Facebook places, just slightly less specific.
I still can't bring myself to do that, Facebook places that is. Im still amazed at the frequency and amount of people who post their home address. It still scares me, I wonder if they realise that they're doing it? You may be captioning it as 'in bed' but if u click further, you can see a map of exactly where ur house is, the number, suburb, postcode. EVERYTHING. Type that address into google and you can even get street view.
I guess it probably seems hypocritical for me to complain about posting location when I blog from locations all the time and usually vaguely mention where I am. BUT at least I'm making potential stalkers work a little harder and not denying them the satisfaction of piecing my location together. Where is the fun in being told the exact address!
You know what's more annoying, I have a few lovedoves on my fb who constantly post their location as "in her/his arms" =.= FUCKSSAKE cheeseball much.
So I just finished uni and was thinking about what I learnt and couldn't come up with anything...except that's not entirely true. I realised I don't enjoy/appreciate learning things that I already vaguely understand. It feels like I've just had something clarified which isn't as fun as learning an entirely new thing. So 4 hours of class later and I feel like I have nothing new to share.
Lol I think I sparked a bit of a zuma blitz competition on FB with my challenge directed at Mikel haha. Now Joel's playing again too XD ehehehe ^.^ I love stupid little games like that, I can't fully invest myself in proper ps3 games haha they feel like too much of a commitment and therefore more guilt is attached when I sit down to play them. Whereas with fb games like bejeweled and blitz they only take a minute and I use them as 'rewards' in-between studying. Except...I end up playing for ages and tend to play them b4 studying to shake the previous mood that I'm in and clear my head lol, my eyes end up hurting and then I need to take a break. Ugly cycle.
I'm near the city now...I don't really want to go home yet but I don't have anything to do ={ oh well, the faster I get home the better, I still want to watch The Chicago Conspiracy tonight, looks like I'm going it alone. I think I'm going to have to bring a change of clothes with me because I'm going to hellfire afterwards.
Also, it creeps me out when couples stare deeply into each others eyes. It feels too intimate, stop making me feel awkward when I'm on public transport! ...lol
I reallllly want to go see the annie leibovitz exhibition at the MCA. Don't think I'm a snob, I'm not trying to be. The only reason I know who she is, is because she was on an ep of Will and Grace haha. I saw some of her work and her photographs are beautiful. ^.^
Any takers??
Anyway. I need to stop blogging and crossing roads.
or..people I don't know who are apparently very into asian girls and sexy princess peach. NOTE: I'm not asian.
For those of you who didn't get that, I've been looking into my stats for my blog and some of the search terms that lead people here are rather odd.
ANYWAY I haven't posted much because I've been going non stop for a few days now. This is my first chance I've had to sort of chill out and technically I shouldn't even be doing that since I have a LOT to study for. It's been a blur of event tech-ing at work and at the Bring It On! festival and studying for assessments. I don't have much to show for the last couple of days but here's some pics from B.I.O =]
There didn't seem to be as many people this year at B.I.O which is sad but...ehh watevs. I'm over it, I was so tired that day. It was slotted in-between two pretty heavy work shifts and I knew I had the exams coming but was too dead to study until the day of the exams. Not the best plan but ehhhh I made it.
Positive: I now have money! that I can't spend lol. I have a few 21st's coming up and I need to save up, plus Tim wants me to go to the snow with his family and it is NOT cheap.
I also finally finished reading 'Last Sacrifice' by Richelle Mead. DON'T JUDGE ME! haha...I started reading the series last year sometime when Tim's little sister randomly lent me the books. I've been attempting to read the last one all year and only finally finished. It was very anticlimactic but I suppose that happens when you keep stopping in the middle of all the major plot points. I just wasn't that interested, some of the other books really hooked me in and I finished them in one go but I couldn't get into this one.
So now I have to attempt to finally pick up the final Harry Potter book and read it. I was such a big fan, the movies came out and ruined it for me. I attempted to keep reading without having the movies taint my perspective of everything in the books but I couldn't separate the two =[ Plus I felt bad abandoning the series like that, by the time I was in high school I found the books boring but as an homage to the days where I would buy the book the day it came out and finish reading it the same day, I continued with the series despite feeling very 'meh' about them. I just don't find them interesting anymore, I mean sure they captured my mind when I first started but I was like 10 years old.
-disconnect-
I was thinking of going to this tomorrow:
I saw a flyer for it while I was waiting for the bus to go to uni and it looked interesting. I haven't heard it advertised anywhere so I'm interested to find out who's organising it. I'm intrigued, the bands playing are really random, it makes me think that it's being run by a bunch of uni kids as opposed to the usual bunch who host these sort of fundraisers. It caught my eye because my family has a very close friend who fell during these arrests and is still imprisoned.
I can't properly explain how I feel about this. It's so close to home, so integral to my very existence. It's a huge mess of emotions, anger for the lives lost & ruined, for the families torn apart, anger towards the people still living there, pretending like nothing happened, angry over the futility of it all, angry about the injustice, about how so many of the murderers and torturers continuing on with their lives and just 'moving on' without ever having paid for their cruelty. Sad for all the people who got lost along the way, for the people who will never move on, who will carry these memories at the forefront of their minds for the rest of their lives. Sad because I feel like nothing will ever change. Sad for some members of my family, who had so much stolen from them that they will never get back. Guilty for not having been with them, guilty for getting the better end of the deal. Guilty for sometimes forgetting all about everything and not being as grateful as I should be.
I really like, what I think is, traditional South African music. You know like Black Mumbasa <3 or some of the songs from the Lion King or the percussion in Waka Waka by Shakira featuring Freshlyground.
Speaking of! I know it's a year or two late to talk about it but seriously what was up with that! Why did they ask Shakira to do the FiFA world cup song if she's not even South African and only featured a south african band, there's even a a spanish verse in the song...seriously wth. Does Colombia have some sort of tie to South Africa? =S To my knowledge there aren't any predominately Spanish speaking areas in South Africa. Not that I would know, but hang on lemme check. Nope it doesn't, Africa in it's entirety has the lowest Spanish speaking population in the world, coming in at less that 1% which is saying a lot considering it does have one Spanish speaking country: Equatorial Guinea. I feel dumb. I've never heard of that country =S
Anyway I still love that song and I'm glad it led me to discovering Freshlyground. They have a sweet sound but they didn't sound like what I thought they would, their sounds aren't as ?'traditional'? as I expected. Still nice.
Hmm the songs that are coming up on my shuffle are really good XD they all seem to match my mood at the moment ^.^
Uni today was good, lol I love the feeling I get when I understand haha. A few years ago I stopped paying attention to what I get taught which is stupid. I like learning and understanding things reminds me of a time long long ago when I was really into studying and obsessed over marks. I remember back when I used to be in a mindset where anything lower than an A or Distinction was unacceptable. Anything below 100% was icky and 100% didn't even feel like enough. Pressure much! lol especially since I wasn't getting 100% all the time, close but not quite. Oh how times have changed. Now I barely care if I pass. A few years ago I would have been horrified when people even joked about that. It's weird how much I've changed, and at least in this aspect not for the better.
I'm pretty sure I've talked about this subject before, wearing makeup was whorish (now I wear eyeliner every day), smoking was evil (ended up trying it and occasionally liting up), sex and sexuality was obscene (now I've got one of the dirtiest minds of the girls I used to hang around with). Masturbation was only done by guys, it didn't even cross my mind that girls could too and then when I finally realised that some girls did it too I was internally outraged, I used to think that was so foul, so morally bereft, so vulgar and the mark of a sexually depraved pervert up until 2 years ago. Yet I thought it was completely normal and and even healthy for guys.
The change that I only recently remembered is the only one that makes me feel ashamed to have thought that way. It came up because I was listening to a smodcast ep where they spoke about The Diary Of Anne Frank. They were talking about the dirty parts of the book that had been edited out of the first release of the book. That's when I remembered. I read her diary when I was in primary school. There was a part where she describes masturbating...I don't think it was even in that much detail, I think she wasn't even touching her genitals, she was just talking about playing with her nipples and it wasn't even THAT sexual, it was her getting to know her body and realising that it felt good when she touched herself that way. I haven't read it for years so I'm shady on the details. As soon as I read that I hated the book, I thought she was a freak. At that point in my life I didn't even know what masturbation was or that it even existed in any form. I immediately jumped to the assumption that she was a lesbian. I interpreted it as she wanted to touch boobs...so in my head I thought that made her a lesbian. The worst part about it all is that back then, to me that was a bad thing. I guess homosexuality had never come up before in my life except for in that moment. I saw it as something abnormal and freakish. Something wrong. It didn't fit in my head with what I knew, I remember ranting on to my family about how crazy this Anne Frank girl was and them just awkwardly ignoring me. I let it go.
I don't know when I grew up or when I stopped being a homophobe but I feel horrible that I felt that way at a point in my life. Especially now that I feel really invested in equal rights for everyone and accepting of different sexualities. I'm even a little queer myself haha I don't know when that happened either. It's so odd remembering how I felt, how angry and disgusted I was. So different =S
={ I feel guilty, my penance: raising my kids in an environment where sexuality is a normal healthy part of life.
It's odd how delayed my 'exploration of sexuality' came about. This only set in for me when I finished highschool, when I was about 19. Wierd, it creeps me out like fuck when I hear about people talk about the first time they masturbated or watched porn. The majority of the guys I know were in primary school! FUCKING PRIMRY SCHOOL. When they were about 10, that's a whole 9 years before me!
Lol I got so distracted writing this that I missed my stop. I'm in Liverpool now =S
I've heard SO many stories from Friends about how in primary school, from about kindy to year 4 they would 'play doctor or mummy and daddy' or just generally jerk each other off in class and kiss and get naked in some way. So many people have told me those stories. I still find it beyond fucked up. I instantly have flashing red lights come up in my mind, whoever instigated the activity must have been abused. Either they saw something inappropriate for their age or they were sexually abused. It's not normal for a kid to b experimenting like that! They had to have gotten the idea somewhere.
Creeps me out so much. NOT RIGHT.
Ergh. Oh I'm here! Well I'm out, well that posted took an unexpected turn =s
Noooo what's happening. All the buses are being blocked =S
Sorry I haven't posted, or well, sorry to myself since I like keeping a record of how I feel and what I was doing so I can refer back to it in the future. I haven't been in the mood to blog, I've been kind of busy for the last two weeks and I can't even remember what I was doing for most of it. Other times I was just mega bummed and couldn't think about anything appropriate to share. Moments that stand out since last properly posting: getting really drunk and then performing, freaking out at work and watching "The war you don't see" at UNSW.
I'm sure there were other things in-between, but obviously nothing amazing if I can't remember without referring back to my diary. Highlights include: uni, pash party, voting (2nd time ever), hospital, another performance, a block of Sims3, work meeting, sound workshop, stockmotion, late dinner in chinatown, gelato, rock climbing, Tim Minchin concert on tv ♥, tests, Red Riding Hood (movie), vitamin D deficiency (lol how sad aka: pathetic). THAT IS ALL.
That's kind of sad, the only thing worth remembering in the last 2 or 3 weeks..maybe even longer, is a night that I can't even completely remember. How meh.
happy thoughts!
errmm....
okay well maybe not happy but, about the documentary. I watched John Pilger's new film last Thursday, "The War You Don't See". It was well executed but content wise it wasn't exactly ground breaking. It was about the way popular media manipulates the information we (western society) have received in regards to different wars throughout history. That in itself was not groundbreaking information, and not even that subversive considering I was taught those things in highschool, in particular modern history and english. I remember watching a doco back in highschool, I think when we were studying Frontline, that discussed the same thing, although it focused a lot on Rupert Murdochs monopoly on mass media. I can't remember what it was called =[
The main difference I think was that in this documentary John Pilger was trying to put forth the idea that journalists have a responsibility to report the truth and should be held accountable for misleading the general public. He highlighted the pivotal role that they can play in gaining or losing the public's support of what their governments are doing and can indeed make a huge difference. I'd like to hope that if more people saw the ugly side of war, the civilian's side, that more people would actually give a damn and demand that their governments do the "right thing".
ergh...watching it was just generally upsetting, being reminded of the mass human suffering at the hands of people who are paid and even glorified by some. Seeing how fucked up some people are, it's incomprehensible. It makes me feel so useless and helpless. Not being able to do anything to directly change things, just being so overwhelmed by the magnitude of these problems and feeling guilty for being as lucky as I am.
And here I am again, feeling like just another useless idiot who isn't doing anything to change this messed up place we live in. *sigh*
There is no way to gracefully change the subject now after thinking about something so heavy so here's a song I rediscovered after not listening to it for a couple of years:
Oh and I heard that the doco will be shown on SBS at some point soon which is pretty kool, John Pilger's stuff was actually black listed in Australia for ages because it was "too controversial" =.=
YUP 8:35pm this Sunday night on SBS ONE, 10 April 2011. PLEASE WATCH IT IF YOU CAN! It has some really upsetting material in it and also includes the full clip that was leaked by the US army soldier to wikileaks and an interview with Julian Assange.
It is well worth your time so please, please see it.
So one day I was hanging out with Kurt and we realised that there are some pretty wacky sayings in the spanish language.
Each Spanish speaking country has their own sayings, metaphors and similies but these are a few that I have collected over the last year or so.
Every time I hear my mum or grandma say a new one I text Kurt XD It has become somewhat of a little tradition for me now =]
Saying: La negrita astuta vende fruta.
Direct Translation: The (Astute, cunning, sly, crafty, fraudulent) cute/little black girl sells fruit.
Meaning: This saying is said as a sort of warning that you are/someone else is a cocktease
Saying: No calientes el agua (si no vas a tomar té)
Direct Translation: Don't heat the water if you're not going to drink tea
Meaning: This is also a sort of warning to someone who is being a cocktease. Kind of like, don't flirt and lead someone on if you have no intention of hooking up with them. It is also a play on words because in Spanish (Chilean at least) the word calentar (to heat) is also used informally as a way to say 'make horny'. So 'estoy caliente' = I'm hot BUT it means I'm horny. If you wanted to say I'm hot (because of the weather) you would say 'tengo calor'
Tongue Twister: Tres tristes tigres trigo trillaron tranquilos tragaron
Translation: Three sad tigers, wheat they threshed (To separate the grain from the straw or husks by mechanical beating), calmly they swallowed.
Tongue Twister:Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira pobre pintor portugués pinta paisajes por poca plata para pasar por París
Translation: Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira poor Portugese painter paints landscapes for little money to pass through Paris.
Saying:Buscarle la quinta pata al gato
Direct Translation:To look for the 5th leg of the cat
Meaning: Looking for problems when there clearly aren't any in that situation, so you're over thinking it and overcomplicating yourself.
Saying: Para ser bella hay que ver estrellas
Direct Translation: To be beautiful you have to see stars
Meaning: I'm guessing this is a fairly old saying because my grandad said it to me once, I kind of fell in love with this little rhyme/mantra. It means that no pain is too great to endure in order to look your best, this particularly refers to women having to wear painful shoes (stilettos) because it makes their legs look hot, wearing tight clothing to show off curves, waxing, plucking, dying hair, and I suppose nowadays you could extend that into getting cosmetic surgery. Just to clarify, my grandad wasn't a dick, I remember the saying coming up because we were watching a show with really attractive women and I was in awe of them and he explained that constructed superficial beauty comes at a price =) Oh and if you don't get the imagery, it's based on seeing "stars" when you hit your head/get dizzy, like if you've ever seen the cartoon representation of stars around the head when they get hit.
*To be continued
To Do.
Here's a list of some of the things I would like to do or accomplish or places I want to visit in my lifetime =]
* I have already been there, done that or started to read that but would like to do it again or complete the task
-- The task is completed and I don't feel the need to do a repeat