Bonjour XD You've just stumbled onto my blog. Enjoy =]
MEOW
Moi.
Basics.
Name: Andrea J
D.O.B: 04.02.91
Age: 22 years old
Nationality: Australian
Heritage: Chilean
A Life Worth Living.
Musac.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
11:43 AM
I hate bananas. It' the only raw/fresh food I could find in this stupid house.
Anywho, I got excited because last night I read a post about 35 life hacks and one of them was to eat a banana like a monkey because it's easier. I didn't quite understand because it said to open it from the bottom like monkeys do. So today I was like hmmm lets try. I didn't know what I was doing so I just squeezed the end and POOF open banana almost instantly XD
It feels like a party trick HAZZA lol....I've just always opened them from the stem (the side connected to the other bananas) and sometimes it takes awhile or u squish itttt. This way u don't AND u can get rid of the ugly/yucky black bit that is normally at the end b4 u start eating.
lol...=[ yes I'm somewhat excited about a banana.
So I watched District 9 yesterday. I actually kind of liked it. I found it really intense, I was yelling at the screen the entire movie. I did think the main character was a complete and total MORON but I still liked it. It raised a lot of questions in my head =] I like.
Then I watched Big Stan. It's not normally something I would watch willingly...I don't like comedies all that much. They're so cheesy and the main actor annoys me but I was waiting for True Blood to load and I didn't feel like watching any of the other movies Tim gave me. Soooo movie was meh, the wife was adorable, it's kind of pathetic but I'd love to be a wife like her some day lol. The only thing that stood out was this white guy who was in the prison who was soooo cute. So i looked him up XD
and then I got a little bummed out because it turns out he plays Jasper in the Twilight movies. For those of you who don't know. I LOVED the books, I first discovered them wayyy back in like yr 9 or 10 in my school library one day that I was probably avoiding people at lunch lol. So in honor of the books, I have refused to watch the movies and have avoided posters and ads for it as much as I possibly can (read: ran out of movies when the ad played).
I don't get why everyone's so rah about it. The most common argument I hear is that it sounds like a 12 year old wrote it. Iunno...I guess I never had any problem with it, I never bothered to over think it. I recently read the draft of Midnight Sun and I still didn't see what everyone is so worked up about. I've been avoiding those conversations though, I don't want people to ruin a book that I really enjoyed by picking at it until it dies.
Any way, the guy is pretty fineeeee: In big stan he plays such a sweet character, he's so young and innocent and the only reason he was in jail was for selling weed nawwwww LOL and he has long hair and just these HUGE eyes and is all alkusjdlkajdlad ♥ oh and he looked a little like a girl XD
I don't know where else Ive seen him, he has a familiar face, wiki says he was in the OC once so maybe I saw that episode :S oh and he was also a host for the disney channel at some point so maybe there?
LOOK AT THAT SMILEEEEE nawww
tawwwww =] he looks so sweet.
He looks shit in The last Airbender. He plays Sokka. DISLIKE baldness, even if he has a ponytail. I DEMAND MEDIUM TO LONG HAIR.
hmm I just realised that today is the first day EVER that I look up 'hot' guys online. I always look up girls...I have a folder labeled zdrool and curvy dedicated to all the hot people I find....there is ONE picture of a guy haha.
It actually started because Tim posted this on fb:
how long do you think its gonna take for me to get a body like the one in the picture below??
So it got me thinking to what kind of body do I prefer in men. It's kind of hard to figure out because in general I'm not attracted to guys bodies it's always the face. With girls it's easy, I love curves. Big-ish tits, tiny waist, big butt, meaty thighs, tanned, usually brunnets. Basic hour glass really.
With guys...iunno. I tend to notice asian guys more...but as with any race there's ugly ones too. I like fobs too but I'm sorta over them at the moment because I haven't seen one that I find attractive for ages. Generally I don't like white guys, african guys have cute faces...hmm SOME middle eastern guys can have a smouldery look which is kinda hot but I haven't ever seen one in person that has that quality. Usually I'm more attracted to a quality that will come out through the way they dress or a skill. Like guys who play instruments = drool. Smart, humanitarian guys ...who aren't arrogant XD ...young professors...lol
So I decided I prefer lean muscle, so I tried looking up the type of body I like in men. It was really hard to find anything at all.
I started off with dancers.
didn't find much. So i moved onto asian..again, there was a whole lot of aksjndakjsdja
he's nice...his body isn't too over done. Beautiful face.
I didn't mind this...i thought Tim would like it:
and I have no idea who this is, but he's really hansom:
but ugh I give up...this was hard and none of these guys are even that great. Why is it soooo much easier to find hot girls.
lol I labeled this post sexercise because I wanted to talk about how I went jogging with tim today BUT the point is I wanted to know if I had spelled it right so I typed it into google and there's an actual wiki entry on it haha
"Sexercises are exercises done during sex, sexual foreplay or exercises in preparation for sexual activity designed to tone, build, and strengthen muscles. Sexercises are often performed as part of a Sex Diet, a lifestyle which maximizes the health benefits of regular sex that does not involve a food-based regimen. While normally this is a partner-assisted exercise, masturbation might also be considered a form of sexercise, if done athletically with a mind for health and fitness......Sexercises range from Kegel exercise to aerobic and cardiovascular routines. Flexibility for performing contortion specifically for erotic or sexual positions may also be practised. Most often is the spreading of the legs during missionary, and arching of the back for doggy style."
lol
ANYWAY I really hate that I haven't been posting, it ends up in me doing recaps and blabbing on about nothing.
BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. I need to recap:
Wednesday: was kinda kool, I had uni and then met up with Tim in the city and found cheap asian food which was actually realllly good, then ran into Rowan and walked to a few comic book stores, gloria jeans with tim and then i got to see JMC!!!!
For those of you who don't know, JMC is where tim goes to class XD It's in Surry Hills and it was just kinda exciting getting to see where he studies. In general the place reminded me of the place that Alice in Wonderland falls into from the hole, you know the room with lots of doors. Well JMC just seems to have a lot of doors and long hallways with no windows. It kind of fucked with my perception. Things looked like they were shrinking =S I got to sit in on a class, even though it wasn't Tim's class haha it was really kool, everyone was just doing their own thing working on their animations. They also had sound studios and you could hear people playing ♥
Thursday: my day at LOUD! Tribe. Aoife wasn't there =[ but it was okay, we had some councilors from Fairfield come after we finished the meeting.
Friday: Tim came over and we waited for Stef and then headed off to pick up Uly and then drove to Parra. When we finallllly made it, we went to the Mars Hill Cafe to watch Adam's band play (The Needs) but sadly we only got to see their sound check because we had to leave b4 they played. DAMN LEGAL CURFEW ON RED P's
It was fun, got to see Sheryl and Rachel who I hadn't seen for a veryyyy long time. Sheryl's awesome fun, we should hang around her more often.
Saturday: SO TODAY I went over to Tim's place and we started working out. sdjlasjdasdj I have mixed feelings about this. We, and by we I mean he decided to start working out and asked me to join. I think that it's a great idea, we spend so much time together we may as well make good use of it. The thing is my motivation is lacking at the moment, but I suppose that is what he's here for. I'm also not sure what my goal here is.
I know I need to lose weight but I don't think this is going to work for that. I think I need to change the way I eat, it has just been hard to fix that. I know I'm making excuses and I'd like to blame my mum for a lot of it but I guess it has to do with me being able to stand up to her and making my own choices. She's ...difficult. She expects me to cook but I'm lazy sometimes =[ What happens occasionally is she'll wake up and if there isn't food already made she gets angry at me and then goes and buys junk food. I don't even like how fast food tastes, it's just a hassle having to cook. Then when I do cook none of it is healthy.
At the moment I'm rotating on a diet of spaghetti bolognaise, chicken pesto with pasta, chicken curry with rice, Guiso with rice (cassarole with potatoes, peas, carrots and chuncks of beef), Minute steak with chips/wedges, tacos, oven baked steak with rice or a watery soup my mum occasionally makes with potatoe, rice, pumpkin and carrot.
I generally eat twice a day, once at around 2pm-ish (soon after I wake up) and then at night from 8-11pm
If I go to Tims place I'll usually eat a 3rd time so he'll give me some of whatever is there which is usually rice with some sort of meat. Loud! Tribe days I'll usually have a sausage (with a shit load of tomatoe sauce to drown out the taste) on bread. b4 uni if I have time I'll get a pork roll.
So I know there are a tonne of things wrong with that kind of diet. For one there are no fruits and minimal fresh vegetables. I make a salad like once every 2 weeks...that's terrible. Especially since I actually LOVE vegetables and I don't mind certain fruits. Another big issue obviously is the amount of times I eat a day and the time. I know I'm meant to have 3 main meals a day and two or 3 small snacks inbetween. I've also heard floating around that you're not meant to eat after 6pm =S That just won't work for me....Technically you're meant to eat something every 2 hours so if my last meal was at 6pm it would mean not eating for about 14 hours (i sleep at around 2am on average). You're meant to eat often because it keeps your blood sugar level more constant and means that you're body doesn't goes through massive differences in BSL's = bad due to over production of insulin which eventually fucks you up and with the way I'm going it's surprising I don't have diabetes type 2 already.
Apart from that there is also the problem of portions. I eat a lot, even though I'm not hungry, it's just there so I eat it. Need to fix that too. ARGH THERE'S SO MUCH.
Then there is the type of meals I'm having. Most of them are really heavy. Like the pastas or rice. So heavy that I feel sluggish and sleepy after I eat. =.=
Possibly the only thing i sorta do right is that I only drink water. I cut out soft drinks years ago and now they sorta put me off unless it's with alcohol. BUT this isn't perfect either. I've gotten better but I only drink about a bottle of water a day. BAD. Meant to be drinking 2 litres a day *sigh*
so much workkkkkk
so much planning. I really can't just wing it. I tried a few months ago doing a wholeee new menu and it was actually really good, completely new recipes we had never done b4....this did not go down well. Mum spazzed at me for trying to cut down her portions and yelled at me in the super market for asking her not to buy cookies. BLAH. It was difficult because she's not on board with trying to do this. It's hard coz she's the one buying the groceries and paying for everything. That new system never even had one day of completion because she didn't buy all the things we needed.
I hate that this is all on me =.=
Most of you are lucky that you had normal families that didn't over feed you like fuck when you were a child and were actually healthy. I remember in primary school for breakfast I would get a full plate of hot chips with fish fingers. Adult sized servings for all meals and was drinking like 2L of soft drink a day. I would get yelled at for not finishing my food and then even though my grandma would cook meals at home my mum would get me after she finished her afternoon shift and we would go buy maccas or hungry jacks. Fast food was at least 5 times a week. I stopped getting food packed in my lunch in like yr 3-ish. After 3 years of a cheese and butter sandwhichs or ham, i was over it. My gran gave up because I would come home with the sandwhich still in my lunchbox so she stopped making them. Since I was lazy I never packed a lunch again, even in highschool..lol. I didn't usually eat food at school at all, especially during highschool.
Coupled with no excercies at all and here I am, still fat and unfit.
It's difficult. Being fat sucks, especially when you're growing up. It ties into pretty much ALL my issues in one way or another and the sad thing is being healthy is the LAST thing on my mind. I was lucky that I was never really teased but I was incredibly paranoid about it and there are really only like 2 memories that stick out. They weren't even that bad...it was just depressing.
(break: mum just came back from work...guess what she wanted =[ ...but I didn't get any....I hate that this is normal for me)
I feel like shit. I hate that being fat is such a big deal for me and even though it is, I've never done anything constructive about it ever. Over the last 3 years or so I've put everything on a back burner and tried not to focus on my weight and relax. Most of my high school years were spent doing crazy diets, starving myself, throwing up, taking pills or doing other equally stupid things. It got me no where...I mean, I did lose a lot of weight a various points but obviously always gained it back.
I hate that this is such a touchy topic for me =[ It really does affect so many aspects of my life that it's embarrassing to admit. It really gets in my head, to the point where there have been days where I just didn't leave the house because I felt so ugly and disgusting. School days, parties, hanging out with friends, or even just going with my mum to do the shopping. I haven't been that bad for awhile but there are days when I slip back into that. Like a lot of the time it still stops me from going clubbing...beach days are painful for me =[
It hurts me when I hear my friends complain about how fat they are when they're not even half my size, or when the entire WORLD makes fun of fat chicks. I'm one of those heffas, I'm sitting right next to you as you tell those jokes, it hurts.
kasjdajdlskdad
But I have to try...even though I find it more mentally strenuous than physically. Like today, while I was working out with Tim. I couldn't help but feel like shit, all that was running through my mind was how unfit I am and how gross I look and questioning why Tim is even with me. Even just seeing how unfit I am compared to Tim is difficult. I hate that I can't do certain things...like even just jogging all the way down his street =[ or even one single push up.
I hate not being able to wear what I want because it doesn't come in my size and feeling ridiculous even just wondering into shops to look at clothes. I hate not being able to sit on Tim's lap because I feel self conscious, I hate feeling scared and paranoid and uptight about Tim seeing my body, I hate that it makes me not feel good enough for so many things =[
I hate that no matter what anyone says or does I still feel the same. I know that the only thing that will change things will be me losing the weight. I also hate that once I lose the weight my body will never be perfect. I will always have the remains of stretch marks and probably saggy skin =[ I feel cheated by my own body.
ugh...
I know most people are like STOP WHINING AND GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Well...I am, halfheartedly but I am. Tim's going to help me keep exercising and put up with my pathetic attempts at working out. I'm going to try to figure out a way so that I can organise myself better so that I have time to eat more regularly and smaller portions.
I guess I need to figure out a few goals so that I can keep on track. To be honest when Tim suggested the exercise thing I was thinking more about getting fit and generally being able to keep up with him and not being as red in the face after I finish a dance performance. I guess my goal in life is to lose weight but I feel scared. I don't want to commit myself for the billionth time to losing weight and end up no where, feeling worse than b4 I started. Maybe..ugh fuck it. I'll start weighing myself again =[ and physically, I want to be able to jog a lap of Tim's street without stopping and get through the 6mins of cumbia without lowering my arms or stopping the ball & chain step.
I need a pen and paper for this...There's a few things I need to figure out.
Bleh =[
I didn't think I would actually talk about how I felt in this post...I feel kind of vulnerable sharing this sort of thing, but well...I guess it's nothing to be ashamed of. Being fat is lame, and this is how it makes me feel. At least I'm trying to do something about it.
I just finished reading Warren's latest blog post. He is such an awesome guy =] I think he's my favourite of Tim's friends but SHHHHHH don't tell anyone =P
Anywho the post was a short bio of himself that he had to write for uni. I hate it when uni makes you reflect on your life. I spend a lot of my time doing that anyway but having to hand that in to someone else and being forced to shorten what could be a short novel into about a page or two is difficult. I find it all very confronting, like recently I had to do an assessment reflecting on my perspectives on ageing based on an "interview" with an old person. I chose my grandma and well, I found it realllly hard to write. There are a lot of unresolved issues there and trying to proof read it with my mum was REALLY hard.
Then there was that time I had to "reflect" on why I am the way I am in 2000 words =.=
Yesterday I kind of realised that my brain works in a really retarded way. I got all annoyed at Tim and I didn't even know WHY. I really didn't, but it was snowballing FAST. Luckily it was towards the end of the night otherwise he would have continued to put his foot in it. I had to sit down and think about why the hell I was being such a bitch. Nothing came to me. So I started typing. I think I've gotten into the habit of writing down what I feel so much that I need to do it to understand what is happening to me. This is stupid. My brain is so delayed...it's why I do no good in discussions when Ive been put on the spot =[
Any way, I managed to sort out my head and I sent it to Tim. I realllly am trying to be as honest and direct as I can be about what I'm feeling just so that nothing bottles up. I don't want him to get fed up with my irrationality so if I explain myself at least he knows what is going on.
blergh
SFX this weekend maybe? if I have enough mula I have uni tomorrowwww and loud tribe thursday friday is FREE KATY PERRY ICE CREAM DAY + The Needs at Mars Hill SAt: sfx if money..otherwise a quiet night in with tim??? XD or sebastians bday but ugh i dont wanna spend moeny on bowling Sund: dancing. TIM you have to come this week.
So i started writting this blog post b4 I went to the movies but I didn't finish it so here it is:
Ello =]
My weekend: Sat: grocery shopping, voting, Tim's place (actually talking =S) and then kurt at my place. We made a cake ^.^ and then wedges with sour cream. I felt bad coz i fell asleep at like 1am =[ I was dead from the night b4
Sun: DANCING until 3pm-ish and then forcing myself to stay away so that I wouldn't wake up at 2am. Got my online discussion done and then finally finished Funny Face (Audrey hepburn and Fred Astair). I only downloaded it (months ago) because Jasmina said it was her fav Audrey Hepburn movie and I had never watched a movie with either her or Fred Astair and I wanted to see what all the hype was about plus I like musicals.
It was boring...I don't mind "think pink" oh and the part where Fred gets jealous and tells Audrey she can't hang out with the philosopher anymore
Fred: Now look, Floster may be the quiz kid of the century, he may be the greatest philosopher since Aristotle, But he's also a man. and I'm telling you he's more man than philosopher Audrey: Are you suggesting that Floster's interest in me is anything but intellectual. Fred: He's about as interested in your intellect as I am.
bahahah ♥
oh and when she hits Floster over the head with a statue when he tries to kiss her later on XD
So after that I decided to waste my remaining downloads on youtube and go nuts so I caught up with all the Phil defranco I had missed and due to his subsaturday or watever it's called, I started watching Lacigreens videos. SHE IS THE BOMB. She's smart and funny and sexy and has a big rack and nice makeup and hair when she does it and I was hooked and watched like 30 of her vids =] She went to uni when she was 16 lol...she skipped 6th 10th and 11th grade. She has a shit load of qualifications and I'm fairly certain she's 20 but she has so much personality and weeeeee falling in love. Mostly coz I wish I was her. She mostly talks about sex and sexuality and she doesn't exactly cover uncharted territory but she's prettyyyyy to look at.
Only linking that one because I thought she looked hot with that bandana and shorts =]
So todayyyy I was studying for bio by using the CDroms tht came with the textbook and another one I have. I think that system is working a lot better for me. They're more interacting and the testing after every module seems really effective for me.
Then I rewatched Jesus Christ Superstar with my gran who slept over last night. I love that movie. The music in it is awesome and I don't know if it's just coz Im biased but they make Jesus into a real douche bag in it and Judas seem awesome. Maybe it's just me.
NOW to post a quiz that I've been doing since the days of yr 7 where chainmail ran rampant and when we all used to fill out quizes and send them to each other.
ABC About You Questions:
A - AVAILABLE: No
B - BIRTHDAY: Feb
C - CRUSHING ON: no one really..laci green?
------------------> After watching Scot Pilgrim vs the World
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: water
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: kurt
F - FAVORITE SONG: don't have one
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: worms
H - HOMETOWN: smithfield
I - IN LOVE WITH: tim
J - JUGGLE: can't
K - KILLED SOMEONE: not intentionally
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: port mcquarie
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: don't like em
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: im going to say none. its complicated
O - ONE WISH: different body
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: tim
R- REASON TO SMILE: I have a lot of good people in my life and so many opportunities that hundreds of others don't in life...actually that makes me a little sad
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: whatever the ending credits of scot pilgrim vs the world
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 12pm
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: black and lacy
V - VEGETABLE(S): LIKE
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: teeth and chest i think
Y – YOYOS ARE: hard to use =[ I still can't do it properly
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: aquarius
Random Questions About You:
Spell your name without vowels: ndr
What color do you wear most?: dark colours
Least favorite color?: brown?
What are you listening to? tim on skype
Are you happy with your life right now? not entirely but I've been more unhappy so Im doing okay
What is your favorite class in school? at the moment bio? despite the heavy work load
When do you start back at school/college? i have class on wednesday
Are you outgoing? no
Favorite pair of shoes? don't really like my shoes. i need new ones
Where do you wish you were right now? cuddling in bed
THE CANS:
Can you dance?: yes..not amazingly well but I get by
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: yes but i look retarded in the process
Can you whistle?: yes
Write with both hands?: yes, not well
Walk with your toes curled?: yes
THE DO'S:
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: iunno..no, maybe far farrrr away
Do you believe in miracles?: no
Do you believe in magic?: no
Love at first sight?: no
Do you believe in Satan?: no
Do you believe in Santa?: no
Do you know how to swim?: yes
Do you like roller coasters?: not really, i don't think they're worth the money
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: sometimes, creepy crawlys no...or anything too gooey
THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: yes
Have you ever asked someone out?: not really, i just told them i liked them as more than a friend
Have you ever been asked out by someone?: yes
Have you ever been to the ocean?: yes
Have you ever painted your nails?: yes
THE WHATS:
What is the temperature outside?: 12* in fairfield apparently..except im in cabra west
What radio station do you listen to?: don't, only one i listen to on purpose is loud tribes radio station, the rest are just for background music while driving (104.1, 96.9, 106.5)
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: err...i had salt and peper calamari at a cafe on oxford on friday night
What was the last thing you bought?: movie ticket
What was the last thing on TV you watched?: ermm the election updates
THE WHOS:
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: tim?
Who was the last person you said I love you to?: tim
CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out?: yes
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: yes
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: yes
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: yes
Do you cry when you get an injury?: unintentionally...sometimes, the ones where ur voice doesn't come out and ur reaction is delayed because ur process how painful it was.
Do certain songs make you cry?: yup, not every time
HAPPY SECTION.
Are you a happy person? not really
What can make you happy?: musicals, tim looking cute...errm blogging to a certain extent
Do you wish you were happier?: yer
Can music make you happy?: yes
LOVE SECTION.
How many times have you had your heart broken?: nooo...maybe a little but it was for someone I wasn't even in a relationship with.
Have you ever loved someone so much you'd die..?: no
LOOK AT ME:
What is your current hair color?: red and brown
Current piercings?: 5
Have any tattoos?: no
Eye color?: brown
IN A BOY/GIRL
Favorite eye color: green
Short Hair/Long Hair: longer
Best Clothing: whatever suits them and expresses their personality to an extent
HAVE YOU EVER
Been to jail: no
Laughed so hard you cried: yes
Cried in school: yep
Thrown up in a store: no but i have in the bushes of a nursing home and in the corridor
Done something really stupid that you still laugh at today: probably iunno
Gone skinny dipping: topless once but i was like in yr 6 and on a private beach
THIS OR THAT
Pepsi or Coke: eww
McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonalds
Single or Group Dates: group
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Strawberries or Blueberries: strawberries
Meat or Veggies: meat
TV or Movie: tv
Guitar or Drums?: guitar it's easier to take to places
Adidas or Nike: nike..iunno
Chinese or Mexican: chinese
Cheerios or Corn Flakes: corn flakes
Cake or Pie: PIE..CHERRY PIE
MTV or VH1: vh1
=]
So that's me
Watched the movie with tim uly warren and tilbrook. It was OK..only coz of the fight scenes and comic book/old skool game-gimics. Plot was very flawed but meh. It was too long.
elloooo just got back from Oxford street ^.^ ups and downs. hellfire was a steady progression downhill although there was about 5 mins of samba style techno.twas odd and awesome. first show: fire belly dancing. somewhat interesting, still shitty and not diverse enough. I find it out that u can have defined abs and still have flab. IT MAKES NO SENSE. 2nd show: inflatable doll. = LOAD OF CRAP. some half naked girl got on stage and then while lip syncing a shitty song got tied up...and not even well. The other rope tying near the Aframe was heaps better. Then she got carried away...retardobot
spoke to a lot of people...too many people =.= they wouldn't leave me alone. right until the very end where some guy, who I have the sneaking suspicion might have been Master Tom come up to me and sympathetically ask me if I was coping *sigh* I must have looked really pissed off. I was stupid enough to stick around after these two idiots were being douch bags. Separately mind you, one after the other, so that combined was about an hours worth dealing with morons and dick heads.
BLAH
ran into some family friends..slightly awkwierd.
then convinced my aunty to leave and we got some stuf from 7/11 when the nicest group of guys stopped us to talk and we ended up going to Nevermind with them XD They called me Emma and my aunty Joanna? or something i cant remember, seriously the nicesty guys, Damien full waited for us when his friends kept going and robby was all crazy dancing and photo taking. what is it with so many of these hip gay guys looking thin and androgynous. it's hot. Oh and why must they all take their tops off =S it wasn't that hot and their bodies are rather scrawny looking... perfect complexions =]
earlier today i went to stockies with uly and tim for a bit and grabbed a salad. They were also doing the opening night of a new steakhouse where u cook the meat on ur table on a stoneplate? I'm really over the cooking my own food at restaurants trend. If i wanted to cook i would have stayed home.
anyway...lots more to tell but ehhh i should go to bed soon. tomorrow is a busy day ELECTIONS... im kinda excited, and very disappointed with how some people don't even give a fuck and are wasting their votes.
These birds seem to be an endless supply of funny photos:
bahahhha
MORE CUTE ANIMALS
naw ♥
MOAR
EHEHEHEH it's ADORABLE and it's tim
I have a bunch more of these but LATER.
If tim was a cat, he would be black, short fur, white paws and one white ear =]
I finished my assessment kinda early last night..or well I still felt full of energy by the end of it. 4am =] so much so that I stayed up to 5am and then in the morning realised i had no paper so I went to tims place to print and then got him to come with me to drop it off. I really couldn't be fucked going alone coz it's sooo annoying to get to. SO i gave him the grand tour of our "campus" and realised our "library" (read: one shelf only 1/4 full of books) has been removed entirely. He's the first person I've ever dragged along to uni ^.^
ZEHN we hung out in the city doing nothing but wander around, oh and tim got a nerf gun and managed to lose it in less than 2 hours. FAIL.
and at his place watched A Chinese Odyssey. Wierd ass movie but funny...there was lots of penis stomping =S and genital burning.
MEOW.
I had so much bio work to catch up on and I need to do my short answer b4 Friday...hmm and submit something for the online discussion for perspectives on aging.
BACK TO TRUE BLOOD! The twists are getting really good...they manage to take this show to very wierd and wonderful places.
What's wrong with me! I got an invite to volunteer at the Cabramatta Moon Festival and I really want to do it. I've never been to the moon fest...it's always put me off because Cabra's already hard enough to be in at peak hours and I can imagine being there during Moon fest would be massively packed x100
I still want to...only thing is the induction is the 2nd sept which is the day I have an exam BUT that's during the day...and the inductions are usually at night I think? Argh and that's a Thursday night which is when I have to host the LOUD! Meeting....I can probably get out of that because I wont be at the office during the day since I'll be doing the exam. Then the actual moon fest is on the 19th Sept (Sunday). I have dance practice until 3pm usually...
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE MOON FESTIVAL IS LIKE? If I volunteer I'd be there from about 7am? and u can only work for 7 hrs max as a volunteer so I'd still get to hang out in the arvo with people...if anyone decides to go. But I don't really want to miss dance practice...
THEN there's Darling Harbour Fiesta 2010 that I'm kinda super excited for XD I haven't been since I was in yr 7 maybe..and that was during the day and it was shit. It goes from the friday night until the monday (which is when I perform). DANCING and zumba and salsa classes for freeeee and food and YAY. I really want to gooooo, I'm sure the dance group will go on more than just the sunday.
ehehe there's so many other things on. I'm excited, I love feeling busy, even if it makes me stress at times. I need to start putting things on my msn calendar again, my diary is great but it's by day and I can't see what is coming up ahead properly without flicking and I loose track of how many days apart things are.
Also I'm kinda excited about Singapore. SORT OF. My dad offers me and "friends" the chance to go every year that he's been there, he'll cover accommodation and food mostly and then the person/s I bring have to pay for their flight. Cheapest I can find at the moment for late December is $850 return with Jetstar. So apparently Tim's mum okayd him to go. Everything's still WAY up in the air but I'm interested. Singapore itself is kinda boring...but if I'm with Tim I'd be more willing to explore lol and hopefully drinking age is 18...I really don't know, my internet research is confusing me so I asked a guy on fb ..lol
ehehe
FASCINATING.
I need to stop procrastinating. I've only done like 180/2250 words I need to do b4 tomorrow at 5pm.
BACK TO IT. ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im excited. I like doing stuff =D
ARGH this assignment is so STUPID. I need to interview a person over 70 and ask them about what their major issues or concerns are as an "old person". I finally spoke to my gran today and well...THERE IS NOTHING. JUST AS I SUSPECTED. She's healthy, she's active, she has a good social life. She does everything on her own. =.=
I hate this assignment. It presumes that old people have shitty lives and not only that but that I'm supposed to think that too and then come to some magical realisation that old people aren't useless and decrepit. FUCK TARDS
I'm stuck...i keep putting this off and it's due wed. only have today and tomorrow to finish it. *sigh* x
ello =] So we performed today at Scalabrini village in Austral. It was realllly packed, it was some weird mass church orgy thing. All the latino churches got together and had a big group mass and there were performances and food for the rest of the day.
It's odd...I really can't escape religion in my life, personally it's Catholicism that tends to make its way into whatever I'm doing despite becoming an atheist. That sounds retarded..."becoming an atheist" ..but well it's what happened. I grew up in a semi-religious house hold, I knew all my prayers in Spanish while I was in Primary school because I would say them before I went to bed with my grandma. We didn't go to Church that often but when we did it was in Spanish. I was baptized and had my reconciliation and holy communion and confirmation and all that jaz, I was even an alter girl once and I used to do the liturgical dances for mass in primary. I went to a catholic primary school so before recess and lunch we always prayed..or on camp, every time we moved we pretty much had to say a prayer. We had an hour of religion every day I think. Mostly we would read a passage and find the moral there and draw pictures or act out scenes lol
Then I went to a Catholic high school but religion wasn't as big a deal as it was in primary. We only had religion maybe 2 hours a week but it was actually quite interesting, we went more into the history of things and analyzing the 4 gospels. Then in yr 11 and 12 I did Studies of Religion which was fascinating but we only did Judaism and Christianity which by then was kinda over and done with after about 12 years of learning about it. We still prayed in the morning in yr 7, or at assembly, but we only had Church twice a year and a few school liturgies throughout. I use to pray every night before I went to bed until I was in about yr 8...I spent most of year 7 actually praying to my granddad instead because he passed away and I thought he'd be able to hear them and pass them onto god more so than me trying to reach God. I was always anti-church though...never did like organised religion.
It just felt like...I grew up and stopped believing. It was a lot like the whole Santa Clause thing (whom I believed in until yr 8 =P) lol
Now I'm back with the whole religiousness...about half of our performances are run by the Latino Church groups.
The world I live in is way too small. FOR EXAMPLE. My dance group. I went because Michelle wanted to do latino dancing (we met in highschool and then figured out my mum was uni friends with her aunties and worked with some of them and also looked after her gran in the nursing home, some of her aunties even know my DAD!). So the class was being run by Marissa (uni friends with michelle), I found out recently that my gran has known Marissa and her family for years because they're heavily involved in the Church. Then there's peter. He joined because he's friends with both michelle and marissa coz they all go to uni together. I went to primary school with peter AND peter's older brother was friends with tim in highschool and peter therefore also knew tim. THEN there's Lilly and Natalie, both of which were students my aunty has had at uni and I met lilly through my aunty for some UWS thing she was doing. Possibly the weirdest coincidence was Sebastian, Sebastian is one of Joel and Michael's friends from uni and I sorta "met" him on mikels bday. By met, I mean saw unconscious when I got there at 4am. Small small world.
SO today's performance was odd. It really felt like another rehearsal, maybe I was just out of it. I didn't Service announcement break: USE UR LEFT HAND AND SCREAM LIKE A CHICKEN
feel like I was performing and didn't get nervous at all..not that I usually get all that nervous. Maybe we've just done this too many times now. Except from now on all performances will be new routines so we're going to suck again *sigh* oh wells.
PICS: According to Marissa "it looks good on stage" LOL
my head is KILLING ME. I don't know if it's because I'm dehydrated or because Tim headbutted me repeatedly tonight lol. It feels like a normal headache except it's radiating from the spot that he head butted me...normally my headaches start at the temples. Anyway 2 heron and a glass of water later here I am and it's still sore.
I recently got home from Jairo's movie night...where we didn't watch a single movie lol. There was scrable....i hate board games lol and ping pong and a trampoline and Lips (xbox version of singstar) and smarties and milk ways ...WAIT r they called milky ways...or where they the blue ones..hmm...Iunno, the white chocolate bar thingos, and pizza and pianno playing and Halo and hanging out with Tim ♥
I really do love Tim, we've made it through so many bumps in the road and so much has changed but I think it has only strengthened our relationship. It has been scary admitting to myself that I am in love with him but I'm finally here =] It's this really crazy overwhelming feeling...it's not even necessarily a good feeling yet but just a shock to my system and I don't really know how to deal with it other than to want to cry...lol I know that might not make sense to a lot of people but sometimes it's like....I feel too much and there's no other way to express myself or let it out other than to just cry. There's just no way to show how much I do love him and it's frustrating, not being able to translate that into terms I'm familiar with.
asjkdn;admaksld
I'm going crazy.
So tonight felt kinda...really awkward lol The invite said BYO so me and tim did...but we were the only ones drinking and it felt like I was hitting a brick wall for most of the night....I felt very out of place.
PIKATURE TIME Tim was wearing blue contacts, I really like this pic of tim...kinda hot actually
oh and this one...lol I cropped it coz everyone else looked lame lol
♥
Then there are these:
THA PUPPEH that wouldn't stop licking me so cuteee
everyone except for michelle..i think =]
I made sure I brought my camera today, I always forget it these days. There was a time when I was obsessed, brought it everywhere just incase and now I don't even remember to bring it to parties/events.
So yesterday I randomly ended up at Cooks Hill with Tim, Warren ♥, Nat Dave and a girl called ?Jillian? ...me and tim didn't eat or anything lol...but it was still nice. I'm glad I went even if I was being a bitch to tim lol...I got to sort a few things out with him and I'm glad we did =]
Tomorrow is my last performance for awhile I think...for about a month and a bit. It's at the Scalabrini retirement village =S odd...they're doing some big latino church thing there and there's food and a jumping castle involved as far as I know. We perform at 3.20pm and it's only the one song so no stressful costume changes inbetween dances. ALTHOUGH i've gotten really good at it XD I don't think I've ever gotten undressed and changed so quickly haha. This may make me an exhibitionist but there is something really freeing about getting changed infront of people and knowing that no one cares =]
On a totally unrelated note, I can't get half the songs from the musical "hair" out of my head. I've had it on my computer for awhile and I watched it once with Kurt but we were goneskies so I didn't remember most of it and I found it really boring that time. I started off by replaying the 'Coloured Spade' song and since then have slowly fallen in love with a whole lot more songs and finally watched the end yesterday. Now i need to sit down and watch the whole thing from start to finish. To be honest, I think it was very poorly made. A lot of it doesn't make sense unless you do some research into what the original Broadway production was about. Either way some of the songs are good and it's funny that I can find a song from 30 years ago confronting that was meant to be controversial back then (coloured spade). Discrimination and stereotyping are such a deeply rooted part of our society *sigh* =[
NAW i just went onto fb and saw a msg from Joel. I miss him, we used to be so close =[
What I don't get is why the LSD in Hair looks like those little marshmellows you put in coffee and hot chocolate.
YAY i just found another mistake in Hair. One of the girls who was just tripping out in the crowd is now on stage singing and is fine lol
So, tim is pretty, my headache is going, I'm going to finish rewatching a few songs from Hair and I'm off to bed.
I'm really very tired, I've been running on empty for the past few days so after this i think I might go to bed and read my Aging textbook. Things are starting to get stressfull BLAH should not have gone to Tim's this arvo.
I havent done my notes for bioooo and I still need to interview my gran and then theres Loud Tribe stuf and ARGH... maybe I shouldn't go to Jairo's on Saturday =[
So today I have a 2 hour prac on the heart + arteries/veins.
Then an hour of Research and evidence based practice. I like that subject..it's easy but I haven't even done ANY notes for it and the exam is in 2 weeks =[
ARGH
and now im in charge of Bring it on with phill and I neeeed a nursing job and UGH oh and my P's would be great. I hate relying on other people for rides or taking like an hour to get somewhere that's only a 10min drive *sigh*
I feel very accomplished. I just finished making chicken pesto + pasta, a garden salad with feta & blueberry muffins XD
I also swept earlier and spot cleaned the floor in my room and tided up =] Tim cam over after he finished volunteering and we pretty much slept until he got picked up about an hour and a half ago lol ♥
I know that this is going to sound sexist and I feel a little guilty that I feel this way BUT the times I feel most like a woman is when I've cooked a decent meal and I've cleaned the house. It makes me feel good and I'm defintly not saying that women and men should fit into specific gender roles especially in regards to such basic things like cooking and cleaning and paying for things/working . I think everyone should do those things, especially when there are groups of people living together (or pairs). I'm not entirely sure why it makes me feel good...but I guess I like the idea that I could run a household and be a good mother. Maybe it's because my mum isn't skilled at doing the whole balancing act (cooking/cleaning/working). That's unfair though...she does things when they need to get done and she does the annoying jobs I hate doing: washing bobby, cleaning the bathroom and mowing the lawn. She's spent the last 40 or so years living with her mother doing everything for her until my GRAN decided it was enough and moved out lol...mum's kinda difficult to live with if you don't know how to deflect all the negative qualities.
So I grew up with my grandmother and grandfather running the household while my mum worked and provided the main source of income. My grandparents were good at sharing responsibilities though, the would take turns cooking and cleaning or gardening. Then when my grandfather died it pretty much all ended up in my grans lap...which *sigh* i KNOW it's unfair...although she did always have this attitude/still does that I was in school and studying came first and since she was at home all day she did everything. Now that she's moved out...it's shifted onto me. I do all the house duties now and I guess it's fair...it's annoying but it is. I don't work and for the last 4 months I wasn't even studying so there was this pressure that I had to do those things. I kinda struggled with it at first because...well I was spoilt up until I was about 18 and b4 that I'd never HAD to cook or clean anything....but the guilt got to me so I complied. Only difference now is that I think mum is lazy compared to other mums who do it all (example: Tim's mum) butttt oh well. That's our system.
Anywho on a different note. Performance this saturday XD Our last one for awhile and then classes will go back to normal. We're only performing one dance (instead of all 3) so that makes it less stressful. We also started learning the choreography for the machete dance. It's going to look kool in the end but to be honest I'd rather not do it...lol I don't fight...I don't like pretending to fight either and I'm really unco and hacked at my legs like 4 times during practice LOL
here's an example of one from jewtube: Only thing is that this is JUST the machete part, ours will involve dancing as well.
This one is longer but it's a full routine with dancing..and here comes the sexism again...I DON'T WANNA FIGHT...coz I'm a GIRL, oh plus it involves too much acting to look convincing and I have no acting skills whatsoever.
MEOW
Also I have an assessment due on Monday eep...which I haven't started and I need to go to another meeting tomorrow morning for LOUD! Tribe/ bring it on stuff...and thursday is my full day tribing and ARGH
I want a love like me, thinking of you, thinking of me, thinking of you type love or, me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type love or, hating how jealous you are, but loving how much you want me all to your self type love, or seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name, and shit, I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you, and I barely made it out of my garage. See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep then wonder if she dreaming about us being in love type love, or who loves the other more, or what she’s doing at this exact moment, or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts, closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so much when she’s not there. and shit, I love not knowing where this love is headed type love. And check this, I want to place those little post-it notes all around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love then not have enough ink in my pen to write all there is to love about her type love. And Hope that I make her feel as good as she makes me feel, like believing that her being in my life makes me a better person type love or I want her to distract me form whatever I’m doing type love and I want to deal with my friends making fun of me the way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love. Only difference is this is one of those real love type loves. and just like in high school, I want to spend hours on the phone with her not saying shit, then fall asleep then wake up with HER right next to me, and smell her all up in my covers type love I want to try counting the ways I love her then lose count in the middle just so that I have to start all over again type love I want to celebrate one of those month anniversaries even though they ain’t really anniversaries, but doin’ it just cause it makes her happy type love. And I want to break down the time we spend together into seconds just so it sounds like we spend more time together type love And check this, I want fall in love with the melody the phone plays when her number is dialed into it type loves and then talk to you until I lose my breath, she leaves me breathless, but with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer cause, in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves. I want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time to love her as long as I’d like to type love, and I want a love that makes me st-st-st-st-stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type love. I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair Well, maybe not all of the hair maybe just cut the split ends and trim my mustache, but it will still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her. And check this, I kinda feel comfortable now, so I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so I could lose my memory get transported to some third world country just to get treated then somehow meet up again with you so that I could fall in love with you in a different language to see if it still feels the same type love I want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is, but I’m married, so she is going to be the one that I share this love with.
I love this poem, I know I know, I've posted this already but I ripped the audio from the youtube video and can't stop listening to it. I love that I have felt that kind of crazy in my life, life really isn't so shit when I think about it these days =] I have a lot of good things in my life that I'm really grateful for. This poem makes me sadhappy...don't know exactly why and yes I know I'm overly sensitive and cute puppies can make me cry at the drop of a hat, along with the news, a well told story or a romantic notion and you all might not get it...I don't most of the time, but I just...feel so much.
Like with this 'poem' (I still feel weird calling it a poem), the last line is a tear jerker for me. That would be so amazing, to live your entire life in love with the person you marry, and still feel that same sort of crazy infatuated young love. It would make life worth living.
♥
TO LOVE!
On a similar note, you know how on tv shows or movies they tend to portray couples making love to certain songs/artists. From all different genres, Barry White to gangster rap, to 80's hair metal. I've always found that concept kind of strange, that a song would put you in the mood to have sex. Very odd indeed. Until recently XD ...sorta. It doesn't make me want to have sex..that would be weird, but it does have this sultry, slow kind of sound and slow dancing it with a partner does put me in a kind of, passionate intense place (which very rarely occurs naturally for me =[ )
Then there are songs I've heard and all I can think of is a girl stripping/lap dance, but nice and slow, even pole dancing...and less vulgar that your reggaetton music video whores.
Now that's sexy.
xx
PS: TIM IS A WHINNY BABY AND NEEDS CREDIT, HE GAVE ME ALL THREE SONGS.
wowzers should not have eaten pasta to settle my stomach. What was I thinkingggg. SO...uhm basically what happened was I went to Mikes 24th? last night, great guy btw =]. WARREN CAME and he's awesome..and like the only person who talks to me other than my Tim lol Tim drove so he couldn't drink =[ and Warren shared his alcomahol with me ^.^ I seriously owe him SOOOOO much bleh. need to get job. I don't remember the ending of the night all that well...
There were vinegar chips...and then tim got me a roll with TWO sausages in. I'm fairly certain I devoured that within seconds. I remember the kiss of life...and then tim asking me if I wanted to stay. Thankfully he took me home because I don't remember a thing after that. Actually I sorta do...I have a snapshot in my brain of tim putting my pj's on...then it skips forward to my mum being on the computer while I was in bed while I was on the phone to Tim..but I can't remember what we talked about other than that we talked about something sad =[
So i woke up at 6am this morning thinking it would only be like 3am. Twas disappointing. I woke up still tipsy..and then mums like, talking at me non stop, nothing went in other than that she made me make her breakfast because she was going to work. I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE'S SO MEAN. All she was doing was standing there whining about CRAP and she's making me butter her toast for her. WHY. kslksdfkjsdklfm
I checked my phone records just incase...turns out I msgd tim, don't remember. Spoke to warren for like 2 minutes. DO NOT REMEMBER at all. Then spoke to tim 3 times, all up adding to about 17mins of talk time. What did we talk about =S
hmmmm my tummy feels funny. I love tim....I need to figure out a way so he can drink next time =[ He's so good to me =[
ugh BAD girlfriend. =[
I'm going to go get water and sleep some more b4 dancing. Despite not remembering the later part of my evening and feeling like such a lite weight I had a loverly time. Totally unexpected too haha. The day this all ends will be a sad one =[
Once again it has been like a week since I last blogged. That makes me sad =[ Coz it means I end up doing recaps of my week instead of talking about topics...ehh oh well. I'm watching the 2nd ep of project runway America at the moment. I used to watch it on cable, I think I made it through the first 3 seasons and gave up, it's season 8 now and I also don't have cable and to be honest the only part I care about is learning what the challenge is and seeing them fit the models and then the runway. In between is BORING.
So I'm going to do the recap as quickly as possible: Tuesday: Wednesday: 2 hr tut for bio & one hour of research tut. Walked to tims frm the station hung out there for 30mins, got picked up, went to eat at mounties 4 my grans bday. Thursday: went to the Park's office, then the drop inn, first aid started, meeting didn't finish till 9pm, got home at 10pm Friday: Was going to go to uni with aunty to UWS n sit in on her classes but i was too tired from loud tribe & needed to get a mini assessment done b4 5pm. Tim came over n ended up going rock climbing while i slept the afternoon away
I've been really down over the last 2 weeks and I really wasn't sure why I was so upset. I'd be upset for no reason and then I would remember Alex and I could focus my sadness on that but then it would shift and I'd b sad for no reason. It all kinda started after the dream I had about Alex and then the next day I had another dream about someone else which kinda scared me but I didn't mention it to anyone until last night. Even though mum cut me off and told me to get over it I did sorta feel better after that. I think I feel better that I told someone....even though while I was sad i wasn;t thinking about anything in particular.
It was stupid =[
Anyway, apparently there's going to be an Amazing Race Australia at the end of this year and Kurt got all excited and wanted me to join him and enter. I think that would be a TERRIBLE idea for several reasons. The main reason: I am soooo not competitive and I give up so easily unless I'm already good at the task, I don't have the effort or patience and I can rarely find a reason that's good enough to keep going. 2nd: I would be so boring to watch on tv. 3rd: I think that is a HUGE waste, going to all these countries but being so stressed out and focused on doing some stupid task instead of enjoying the place I am in. 4th: Let's say for some CRAZY retarded reason they chose us to be on the show, the chances of us actually beating really fit, intelligent, go get-ers is incredibly slim. All that summed up = waste of time. Therefore not worth it and especially dragging out my nursing course even more if I actually got in. I am not willing to take a risk that big just to win some money when finishing my course guarantees that I will have a steady source of income for the rest of my life.
Either way it doesn't matter because we can't enter XD haha...neither of us drive, u need one manual and one auto driver.
BUT I still want to fill out the form just on here because I haven't found a good set of questions in awhile.
What famous person reminds you of yourself? Looks, sorta esmerelda from The Hunch back of Notre Damn. Personality wise, no idea.
What excites you most about travelling? Uhm, it doesn't excite me all that much, I just would like to so that I can see knew things and experience different lifestyles.
What scares you most about travelling? nothing? maybe just getting my passport stolen and then having a hard time finding my way to the Australian embassy...but even then EVENTUALLY u'd have to run into someone who spoke english who was willing to help.
What is your opinion of foreigners? I don't really have one...this is a wierd question. They interest me? because I want to ask them about what their country is like and what their life is like.
Which countries have you traveled to? Chile + Easter Island (there's some contention about whether it is its own country or belongs to Chile), Tahiti, Cook Islands, Fiji, Singapore, Malaysia, Italy + Vatican, Mexico, USA. Stop offs include: Hong Kong, England, New Zealand
What language/s do you speak? English and Spanish
What country and place would you most like to visit and why? Brazil, for the beaches, the forest, the night life, the food, the DANCING, the people, the cities, the villages XD
What part of the world is the least interesting to you and why? erm..certain parts of Africa...the scenery bores me BUT the culture is very rich and the histroy is fascinating so even then it would still be pretty interesting.
List three adjectives that best describe you: negative, lazy, 'nice' ..how boring
What would your friends say are your best qualities? I don't know, friends?? what would you say? People have told me I'm a good listener...and I'm nice =.=
What would your friends say are your worst qualities? Hard to please, not motivated(lazy)...what else?
What is the accomplishment that you are most proud of? I don't know, I haven't really accomplished anything major in life =S
Other than appearing on “The Amazing Race Australia”, what is the next big thing you want to achieve? Finish uni and get a nursing job
What is your favourite TV Show? maybe supernatural?
What is your favourite movie? Don't have one...there's nothing I could watch over and over again, I can do that with tv shows but not movies.
What is your favourite music? At the moment, music with a lot of bass and reggae roots or very intricate guitar/piano/violin/drum rythms.
Describe your perfect day: Waking up around 8am naturally and completely refreshed with the sun shinning in that special kind of light where all the colours look brighter and richer. Putting on music really loudly and dancing until I start sweating but it's okay because I'm enjoying it. While the music is still playing, cleaning up my room, sweeping, making the bed, doing the dishes and sweeping the kitchen and then showering and by now it's still only just 10am and everything is done. Eating a juicy mandarin and having a bottle of water and then getting the bus to cabra and buying a pork roll from across the station and then getting the train to the city. On the train listen to more music that makes me happy and the meeting up with people and heading to the botanical gardens and chilling out, people bringing guitars and sharing salad and WATERMELLON...then leaving the group with just one person and going to the MCA and checking that out. Then training it to newtown with that one person and grabbing something to eat at a Portuguese restaurant..or Greek/Lebanese/Spanish restaurant. Having a proper meal and then catching a foreign film at The Dendy and then heading to a bar with chill out live music and talking and sharing a few drinks and then get the nightrider back home and once we get back to our stations seeing people getting ready to go to work and then crashing into bed around 8am...crashing into bed together would be nice =]
What was the most exciting moment of your life? It might sound stupid now, but finding out Kurt had gotten me tickets to Taste of Chaos left me speachless for about half an hour and almost crying and they yeehawwwwing over the phone i was so happy. I have never EVER said yeehaa in any other context...especially not naturally LOL
BLAH there's actually a few more interesting questions I want to answer but I'll leave it for another day, I need to shower and do some nursing work done b4 Tim comes to get me.
I'll leave you with this:
*drools* I really love how he sings...and how he plays ZOMG I love the fingerpicking at the end. His voice at times, like when he sings mega man reminds me of some really indy band and his hair too...I can so picture him on stage. I seriously love how some of the chord changes sound too..like at 2mins "I only play games that are popular" DIES ♥
ellooo I only realised it was our...monthaversary? with Tim...lol as usual. We always forget but it's not a big deal, we've never celebrated really...I attempted to for our...6 months? i dunno, I got him a chocolate eclair once (Dylan Moran thing). Then for our one year we played songs for each other on the radio show and then ate at hogs breath...it felt awkward =P haha...oh well
He came over today after he did the homework volunteering thing at some primary school ♥ But don't think he's a good person or anything, he was kinda conned into it hehe XD I would totally do it but I'm meant to have uni Mondays...except i don't go and study instead...which i didn't do today ARGH...after True blood I swear.
Anyway today was kind of intense viewing wise...I woke up and mum was on the net in my room which annoyed me so I went into her room and watched tv (only working tv in the house) and landed on SBS. Such a good channel. I forget what the show was called but it was a discussion of the mental health policies each side is going to take if they win the election coming up. Speaking of I really need to call in and check that my sign up form went through. I signed up way back in high school but I changed my address since then and I sent in the form by email an hour b4 the office closed and I never got a reply back.
That discussion sort of hit close to home, seeing as I've worked in the mental health sector twice already and did a unit on it at uni, and have several people in my life with mental health issues that are or where very close to me. I've been part of the carer role which gets a whole lot more attention than it used to and seen how hard it is. I guess I can also say I have a few of my own mental health issues haha so I can see where pretty much everyone that took part in the discussion was coming from. It was interesting...people can be so closed minded, I find it hard to believe that empathy isn't more common.
I also watched a snippet of dateline for the first time. I only really stopped there because the headline for the story was "The Living Dead" and I thought it was a news show and would talk about one of the many zombie marches that go on. Turned out to be about a drug in Argentina. It's called "paco" in Argentina..but I'm fairly certain that it's the same drug as pasta base" from Chile. *Confirmed, it's under cocaine paste in wiki* Basically it's all the SHIT left over from cocaine production which is why they sell it in poorer countries, they export cocaine to the richer countries where people can actually pay for it and instead of chucking the byproducts left over from preparation they make it into paco. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than cocaine but I've had a hard time finding out what kind of high it gives other than it lasts about 2 minutes. I'm pretty sure it hasn't arrived in Australia (we'd have more addicts on the streets)...it got big in Chile around the 80's I believe, and in this doco, it said it got big in this particular town around 2004.
It's a horrible drug, I've seen it at work and I can't imagine why anyone would stoop so low. Killing yourself outright seems like a much more merciful way to end your life. It is highly addictive...and not like how they say other drugs are "highly addictive"..this is literally straight after they take their first hit and they're anxious and desperate for another. They smoke it in thick joints or in these pipes that look like they're made of paper =S The short effects of the drug + the addictiveness + the cheapness means that addicts can use like 100 hits a day. They're aggressive all the time because they're anxious for their next hit and nothing else matters anymore. The people who use this drug in Argentina and Chile are called zombies or the living dead because of the way that they become once they get addicted.
There's a movie called Paco that came out this year that I'm keen to watch. It's written and directed by Diego Rafecas, a former polydrug addict when he was a teen (long b4 paco was ever around). South American drama's are seriously depressing and raw so I'm looking forward to finding this somewhere.
ugh it's all so depressing, and then I was watching youtube vids on crystal methamphetamine =[ and a cheaper spin off that they sell in Thailand. There's so much out there and it's so scary that it's so close to home. It's so scary that this all exists, that addicts and drug lords and the mafia and corrupt police aren't just things you see in movies but that they are things in your own neighborhood, people you've met or associated with.
=[
On a much less depressing note, I won a photoshoot with Starshots ^.^ I've had fairly good luck this year with competitions XD Which is why I keep entering now...well I suppose it's not exactly being lucky...I've just never entered them up until now. Any who I'm kinda put off taking photos in a studio like that because I've seen a lot of people's pics after they go to a studio with their mother or loved one and they look shit. Iunno..I'll think about it.
While tim was over we watched Pen and Teller's newest episode of BULLSHIT. The topic: Disrespecting old people is bullshit. I know that the show is basically a mocumentary BUT I felt that today's episode was seriously lacking in substance. Maybe it's just because I'm studying it at uni...and have had my mum working in the aged care sector all my life and you know, have grandparents of my own, but the show barely scratched the surface. It just highlighted that there are a lot of really ignorant people out there...which is pretty freekin obvious. Saying you hate everyone who is "old" just because they're old is discrimination and is ridiculous. YES I'M TALKING TO YOU KURT haha =] But I suppose I fall into a similar category, I generally dislike young children/toddlers and stay away from them if i can BUT I know that on an individual basis they're not so bad.
ALSO I'm kinda really excited about Tim dancing haha...but now that I've show him vids of what it's meant to look like he's put off. We'll see, we only just started rehearsing last Sunday so if he really wants he can pull out.
The first 40 seconds shows how Death is supposed to dance...the rest of the routine is kinda shit.
This routine is a lot more like ours and is prettyer...except Death looks like a stoner. The dance doesn't even start till like 40 seconds =.=:
eheheh AND i think the mapale is back on the table which im superrrr excited for.
XD
YAYYYYYYYYYYy
anyway.
Time for true blood then bio...actually, I might try the quiz first.
It's been so long since I blog properly and something that I find worse is that I have 2 massive drafts of posts I never finished because I lost my steam. NOT KOOL
I've also been capped which means that I haven't really got anything interesting to show you...and I just feel like blabbing on about myself so go away if you don't wanna hear it.
I guess I'll go by day XD
Tuesday: Tuesday's are pretty much my only weekday off since Thursday I spend my whole day doing Loud Tribe crap.
SO this week I had to wake up early and go to a meeting and represent LOUD! Tribe *sigh* but it was okay, it was sorta scary. There is an event happening in october at Fairfield Forum that is being run by another community group but they have asked LOUD! Tribe to help them run the stage. So this was my second meeting with them, they have one monthly. The first one I went to I was with Tim and there wasn't much point of us being there because they didn't have anything all that useful to tell us. Now that they've got a few more things sorted they actually had stuf to talk to me about. I felt like I was pushed straight into the deep end. I have NO clue how to run a stage successfully. There are a few members of the tribe that do but obviously they couldn't attend the meeting with me =.= I felt really pressured, because suddenly when we got up to the part about the stage and lineup they all turned to me and waited for my opinion. Then the police lady was like well your the expert on how to run the stage so what do you think we should do with blahblah. I had to bullshit my way around it. I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE. Very intimidating...but oh well. My task is to find 2 acoustic acts willing to play. I've got Adam locked in already which is perfect, he's local and we've worked with him b4 and he's one of Tim's friends so it works out. Now I just need to make some calls. It's only for a ten minute set and the event is tiny. The crazy part is that they booked in my dance group to perform b4 I was even working with them LOL....
That's going to be embarrassing *sigh* managing the stage AND dancing to traditional Colombian folk songs.
Eventually I got back home and later on Tim picked me up and we drove around a bit. Got coffee ♥ and then went to visit the awesomest of awesome, Warren =] Chilled out...then I think I went home and studied.
Wednesday: I went into uni for my bio tutes...was completely bored out of my mind, then went to my tut for Research and evidence based research. Surprisingly that class is super interesting. Except for the fact that we're moving at a snails pace and a lot of the students are like..mentally delayed or some shit. I don't get why they don't understand it's just concepts. Seriously, last week we "learnt" how to write a question =.= This week was how to read a journal article. ITS NOT THAT FUCKING HARD. We really didn't need to waste a whole lesson on that. I was raging quite hard that day. People are so annoying and stupid sometimes.
1. Rephrasing the teachers statements and trying to sound smart because you understood. YOU'RE A MORON if you had to clarify in the first place AND asking the teacher after EVERYTHING she says "oh so did you mean blah??" and then feeling proud because they were right. FUCK. It's annoying too...there's this one WOMAN (45?) who does it soooo often. I want to jam a Yorkshire terrior down her throat. SHUT THE FUCK UP
2. Telling the teacher a "did you know" I'm sure you've come across it at least once, it didn't happen as much in high school to me...maybe in the junior years, but again, there are plenty of WOMEN who do this at uni. I don't know why, it's mostly ladies in their 40's. They read the related material or the text book and come to class acting all superior and trying to impress the teacher. I really don't understand where they are coming from. Do they honestly think that they know more than the teacher? She obviously knows what the fuck ur talking about. They're the ones who put up the reading material. FUCK. ur not special just because u can regurgitate a textbook word for word. Stupid idiots. Unless you've read something that JUST came out and isn't blatenly obvious from reading every other book, I really think people should keep their mouths shut.
Like on wednesday, there was some idiot who was reading that handout we had ALL just gotten and turning to the people around her and putting on an air of superiority telling them all these things. The EXACT same things that were in the handout we just got. UR NOT SMART BECAUSE U FINISHED READING A HANDOUT 2 SECONDS B4 EVERYONE ELSE AT UR TABLE. Dumb bitch. It's like watching a movie with someone who turns to you every 5 minutes and says "omg did you just see that!?" Ah, yer I did fuckwit, I'm sitting right here watching it with you.
=.=
3. Idiots Some people really are just dense. They don't understand really simple comcepts...it's wierd, and really only annoying when they become dependednt on you to help them understand and waste MY time. Sometimes I wonder if those people really are that stupid or want me to do their work for them.
I made tacos on wednesday. They tasted awesome XD There was also a few issues with the radio program. I haven't done it for awhile now and I stopped writing the script, and now Tim has pulled out of LOUD! Tribe except for when I ask him for help with a flyer or something or attending events. They're running out of people to host it....=.= I could rant on for awhile about that but here is not the place.
THURSDAY: Was a very long day. I woke up and went straight to the Park's office to do the paperwork stuff and then off to the drop in to manage the front desk and then host the meeting. On the plus side I discovered that red lee sells some very filling chicken + salad rolls for like $3.50 XD Tim had uni that night so I didn't see him. Although we did talk on the phone extensively about this and that and eventually moving in together. He's thrown the idea around right from the start and to be honest, it's starting to sound better haha...but it would mean he would move in with me. Either way...a lot could happen b4 that becomes an economically feasible option. BUT it is an option =]
Friday Nice start to the day, sorta. I woke up to a banging at my window. It was tim ♥ with BREAKFAST. He is a legend. If I hadn't been so tired it would have been perfect but seriously best idea ever. I love him so much =] He's so sweet sometimes. I can't remember what I did for the rest of the day...tim left...i think I slept till like 5pm after he left lol
Saturday Our performance for that night got cancelled =[ Which should have meant I could go to Kate's 20th bday thing. She went to lazer tag and then hooters. I didn't have enough money. SO I went to Kurt's place instead. MUCH FUN. Blurry fun. His brothers are HILARIOUS and they're so adorable, even Ryan. He tries to act all tough and threatening with the way he speaks but he's such a sweetheart. AND HE PLAYS GUITAR sorta...he could be realllly good if he learnt properly. He knows all hard bits but not full songs. OMG and Tears in Heaven. Soooo sad but well played =]
I had a fantastic time, we hadn't hung out in forever and it was goodgood. Until I got home and got mega upset again over Alex. He's stuck in my head....I don't know why it's come out so much this week.
I spoke to tim alot...but it all feels kind of fuzzy.
Today: Tim was amazing once again and drove me to dancing for no apparent reason and STAYED. =] He makes me happy. We learnt all new chori so I was pretty pumped. Then tim broke the shelf and my energy levels dropped drastically. I was even more excited becauseee....TIM IS GOING TO PERFORM IN ONE OF THE DANCES. I'm sooooo excited. It's called the dance of the dead and Tim is playing Death. XD he get's to kill us off and try to distract us from dancing and then there will be an epic battle between him and peter at the end. haha XD He gets to dress up like a skeleton and FACEPAINT. eeeeeeeeeeeeeee funfunnn Tim actually picks up the steps really quickly, so proud =] I love him.
Then he left but me and peter went back to Tim's after dancing and watched Stranger than fiction and a bit of tv while tim slept haha...
I'm kinda dead too but I have one more episode of Huge left and I'm up to date. It's a new show it's SOOOO good. Maybe it's just coz I'm fat and I get what the characters are going through haha...It's about these teenagers at fat camp. It has the girl from Hairspray in it. It's really interesting, all the actors are obese and iunno..everything feels really authentic. I really like it, despite the fact that it makes me sad at the same time.
Any who... I'm going to finish it and sleep XD
btw just one more part left and I'm finally finished with Interview with a Vampire.
So one day I was hanging out with Kurt and we realised that there are some pretty wacky sayings in the spanish language.
Each Spanish speaking country has their own sayings, metaphors and similies but these are a few that I have collected over the last year or so.
Every time I hear my mum or grandma say a new one I text Kurt XD It has become somewhat of a little tradition for me now =]
Saying: La negrita astuta vende fruta.
Direct Translation: The (Astute, cunning, sly, crafty, fraudulent) cute/little black girl sells fruit.
Meaning: This saying is said as a sort of warning that you are/someone else is a cocktease
Saying: No calientes el agua (si no vas a tomar té)
Direct Translation: Don't heat the water if you're not going to drink tea
Meaning: This is also a sort of warning to someone who is being a cocktease. Kind of like, don't flirt and lead someone on if you have no intention of hooking up with them. It is also a play on words because in Spanish (Chilean at least) the word calentar (to heat) is also used informally as a way to say 'make horny'. So 'estoy caliente' = I'm hot BUT it means I'm horny. If you wanted to say I'm hot (because of the weather) you would say 'tengo calor'
Tongue Twister: Tres tristes tigres trigo trillaron tranquilos tragaron
Translation: Three sad tigers, wheat they threshed (To separate the grain from the straw or husks by mechanical beating), calmly they swallowed.
Tongue Twister:Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira pobre pintor portugués pinta paisajes por poca plata para pasar por París
Translation: Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira poor Portugese painter paints landscapes for little money to pass through Paris.
Saying:Buscarle la quinta pata al gato
Direct Translation:To look for the 5th leg of the cat
Meaning: Looking for problems when there clearly aren't any in that situation, so you're over thinking it and overcomplicating yourself.
Saying: Para ser bella hay que ver estrellas
Direct Translation: To be beautiful you have to see stars
Meaning: I'm guessing this is a fairly old saying because my grandad said it to me once, I kind of fell in love with this little rhyme/mantra. It means that no pain is too great to endure in order to look your best, this particularly refers to women having to wear painful shoes (stilettos) because it makes their legs look hot, wearing tight clothing to show off curves, waxing, plucking, dying hair, and I suppose nowadays you could extend that into getting cosmetic surgery. Just to clarify, my grandad wasn't a dick, I remember the saying coming up because we were watching a show with really attractive women and I was in awe of them and he explained that constructed superficial beauty comes at a price =) Oh and if you don't get the imagery, it's based on seeing "stars" when you hit your head/get dizzy, like if you've ever seen the cartoon representation of stars around the head when they get hit.
*To be continued
To Do.
Here's a list of some of the things I would like to do or accomplish or places I want to visit in my lifetime =]
* I have already been there, done that or started to read that but would like to do it again or complete the task
-- The task is completed and I don't feel the need to do a repeat