Saturday, May 26, 2012
10:59 AM
Hola!!!
I'm back and I finally have a moment to blog =) I wanted to when I first got back a week ago now but I've been busy living and enjoying things too much to get round to it.
At the moment I'm waiting for a train back to cabra, stayed out last night so I look a little bit walk-of-shamey but haha it's such a beautiful day, a little windy but that nice weather where you can stand in the sun for a bit and you feel reallll toasty. It's nice XD
This week has been crAzy busy in the best way! I've caught up with a lot of people in a really good way, did most of the rounds and caught up with a lot of friends who I missed heaps <3 this week was also heavily dominated by helpin out for Michelle's 21st. It was great! I love party planning and organising especially something of that magnitude. You know setting up the details, decorations, table arrangements and that. She basically had a mini wedding hehe it was awesome and finally a 21st speech I can say I was proud of =)
In year 12 I went through a phase of thinking I could do event planning, in particular weddings, as a career if things didn't work out with nursing. Lost that and then luckily loud tribe fell into y lap and I got to see a whole different side to events, this time music and festivals. It's all fun! Any event. I still have a lot to learn but it's always exciting getting so wrapped up over preparing just for one day and then when it all comes together is really rewarding. Like last night!
Everyone looked beautiful! I can't wait to see the pics ^.^ and today another party I get to help with and set up a little. It's always fun. And then getting to enjoy the party after. There's a really nice balance of stress levels when it's not your party but a friends, because you can help out and give your friend a sense of relief and at the same time because it's a friend you also get to enjoy the party without stressing too hard while the party is going. Whereas if you're Working the event the stress is high and constant and it's slightly less fun because you can't enjoy the fruits of your labour as much.
I don't know, I should persue this somehow =)
Anyway I'm almost at cabra but I wanna tell you about the retreat. Ahhh it was a real eye opener. It deserves a whole dedicated post! Can't do it now.
Ttyl xx
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
& Kitty goes MeOw.
Monday, May 7, 2012
1:36 AM
Today is the day I leave for the Vipassana Meditation retreat. I'm excited, but kind of nervous that I will get caught up in my thoughts and get homesick and act like one of the whiny kids who chuck a tantrum the first night of year 7 camp o.O
For those of you who don't know what Vipassana is, here is an exert from wiki. I figured that was the most basic explanation because if you're new to meditating like I am, you might get all muddled up in the retreat websites description.
Vipassana is one of the world's most ancient techniques of meditation...It is a practice of self-transformation through self-observation and introspection to the extent that sitting with a steadfast mind becomes an active experience of change and impermanence.
I actually heard about this for the first time from my dad around January this year. We were going to go to a centre in Malaysia together later this year but I thought I should give it a try here in Aus b4 I fly away and possibly waste his time and money. He suggested we go to it because we were both in awkward stages of our lives and needed something different to kick us into gear and into the right direction. I understand that practising Vipassana won't change specific things in my life but I'm hoping that giving myself the time to breath and reflect might help somehow. I'm a little unsure about what to expect in terms of what I will gain from this experience, especially since the reviews and blog posts I've read are all really vague. Everyone seems to think it's life changing, amazing and highly recommended but no one can accurately explain why or how. Hopefully I can answer those questions and blog about it when I return and maybe give anyone considering this practice a bit of insight.
I think the main thing that needs mentioning is practising 'noble silence' while you're there for the full 10 days. This basically means no talking or interacting with anyone in any way. I'm not too fussed about not using my voice for 10 days but I know I will find it extremely difficult at first. I rely extremely heavily on people and technology to block myself from thinking too much and getting upset or from getting bored. I know that's unhealthy but that's why I'm also going to this. It will be a shock to my system not having my phone on me or a computer in site but I'm hoping that it will help me detach and be less reliant on all of that when I return.
lol..my main worry this arvo was more about wondering if people will be serving us food directly or it will be on tables ready to go...because not saying thank you or looking my servers in the eye is going to be so damn hard!
I'm also really excited because the centre is absolutely beautiful! Here are some pics from their
facebook page:
So apart from the no talking/tec thing which sounds tough enough, there are also a few other things which will be hard to get used to. 4am wake up call, 12 hrs of meditating a day, no exercise and vegetarian food. I'm actually okay with most of that, I'm sure my legs are going to go numb a lot and waking up will be difficult the first few days but i'll get used to it =]
It's also going to be super cold seeing as it's in the Blue Mountains but ...ehhh, it's better than ridiculously humid like the one in Malaysia would have been.
This is what a typical schedule looks like:
I get my own room, I'm not sure if the bathrooms are shared but I don't mind. I wonder if i'll be really hungry =S
I'm taking the train there and back.
I wonder what it will be like finally being able to talk again. Will I have anything to say? Will my voice be really croaky haha...have you ever had that after being asleep for ages and then not talking for a few hours until you go somewhere/see someone and your voice breaks. Tehehe
I reallllly hope I don't freak out. I think I'll make it. I've heard the 3rd day tends to break a lot of people. I refuse to go home early, especially since so many people don't believe I can accomplish it.
Anyway...on another note. I got my stuff back from Tim. It wasn't hard seeing him which was good, I still love and care about him. I hope that one day we can be proper friends again, I really want him in my life, even if it's just as friends. Despite everything and the millions of times I've complained about the stupid/unfair things he's done, he's still essentially a good guy and someone who knows how to make me happy when he wants to.
I've also been having a very...errrr tumultuous last few days. It's been fun but I'm going to slow down once I come back. I really enjoy partying and stuff but it also makes me feel ridiculously anxious about wasting my life away not doing anything productive. The only thing that keeps me grounded is knowing that come August I will be back on track and I will be a productive member of society. Beh...what a rollercoaster. A few months ago I was complaining about needing to jam in as much
living as I could before my newgraduate program starts and I become a proper grown up lol. Now it's too much and I want to slow down haha...balance is so hard to achieve.
Anywhoozle.
I'm out. I'll probably blog from the train.
Bye lovelies <3
xx
& Kitty goes MeOw.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
4:30 PM
Hey, im waiting for the bus. I'm on my way to the movies. I'm either watching The Avengers or Beauty and The Beast. Not entirely sure yet, it's up to friends, I don't really care.
So today was a pretty big bummer. I was meant to be on a train to Byron Bay right now for about a week long trip with Joely-pants but a combination of poor organising, lack of communication and bad timing resulted in everything getting cancelled ={ It's not the worst thing in the world, I mean, now I save money, don't run into the countless problems that we would have had to overcome and there is always next year. Still I was bummed, I had a few reasons for going but the majority honestly had to do with Tim. I wanted to break the cycle of seeing each other so regularly without me feeling like crap in the process. Keeping busy keeps me distracted about thinking about him. Then it became necessary when he told me he was done with me completely, even as a friend. It was upsetting but knowing I had the trip coming up to take everything off my mind was keeping me going. I freaked out pretty hard this morning when the Byron Bay trip didn't work out so onto the Internet I went to look for a solo adventure within my budget, that was last minute and didn't require me to drive. Sadly I found nothing that wasn't below $1500 without me having to camp solo and I don't feel comfortable doing that with my skill range and lack of car.
As a last resort I looked into the Vippissan meditation retreat I have been thinking of doing for the last few months. Luck would have it that a course starts on Monday, so I signed up and it's all sorted. Kurt mentioned that maybe sitting in silence stewing over everything that has been happening lately wouldn't be the greatest of ideas at this point in time and he's probably right. It's most likely going to make things much harder but it also means I can focus and deal with it all in one concentrated block. Plus this trip works out well, it's 'free' and the location is beautiful. It's also a kick start in the right direction for the future. So much needs to change, I'm really not happy with the person I am right now and how I'm handling everything.
As for the Tim thing, I'm mostly just mad now. He decided he didn't even want to be my friend anymore, even though the last 4 months were fine. I can understand changing that friendship, hanging out way less, not speaking everyday, that makes sense. But he's decided to purge me entirely...again. Ugh what an annoying coping mechanism, it's not fair. We're friends =.= It makes things difficult because I love warren and Jamie and spending time with everyone is fun but I don't want to tread on his toes and he was there first, so I feel like I don't really have any right to go even if I am still invited places.
Geh. Not fair.
I'm out.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
& Kitty goes MeOw.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
12:42 PM
I don't know what to do...I think I've lost that stranger who became my best friend and my world. I don't want it to end this way.
I think he's officially making that determined effort to never see or speak to me again in any imaginable context.
={
I don't know what to do.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
& Kitty goes MeOw.
Español.
So one day I was hanging out with Kurt and we realised that there are some pretty wacky sayings in the spanish language.
Each Spanish speaking country has their own sayings, metaphors and similies but these are a few that I have collected over the last year or so.
Every time I hear my mum or grandma say a new one I text Kurt XD It has become somewhat of a little tradition for me now =]
Saying: La negrita astuta vende fruta.
Direct Translation: The (Astute, cunning, sly, crafty, fraudulent) cute/little black girl sells fruit.
Meaning: This saying is said as a sort of warning that you are/someone else is a cocktease
Saying: No calientes el agua (si no vas a tomar té)
Direct Translation: Don't heat the water if you're not going to drink tea
Meaning: This is also a sort of warning to someone who is being a cocktease. Kind of like, don't flirt and lead someone on if you have no intention of hooking up with them. It is also a play on words because in Spanish (Chilean at least) the word calentar (to heat) is also used informally as a way to say 'make horny'. So 'estoy caliente' = I'm hot BUT it means I'm horny. If you wanted to say I'm hot (because of the weather) you would say 'tengo calor'
Tongue Twister: Tres tristes tigres trigo trillaron tranquilos tragaron
Translation: Three sad tigers, wheat they threshed (To separate the grain from the straw or husks by mechanical beating), calmly they swallowed.
Tongue Twister:Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira pobre pintor portugués pinta paisajes por poca plata para pasar por París
Translation: Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira poor Portugese painter paints landscapes for little money to pass through Paris.
Saying:Buscarle la quinta pata al gato
Direct Translation:To look for the 5th leg of the cat
Meaning: Looking for problems when there clearly aren't any in that situation, so you're over thinking it and overcomplicating yourself.
Saying: Para ser bella hay que ver estrellas
Direct Translation: To be beautiful you have to see stars
Meaning: I'm guessing this is a fairly old saying because my grandad said it to me once, I kind of fell in love with this little rhyme/mantra. It means that no pain is too great to endure in order to look your best, this particularly refers to women having to wear painful shoes (stilettos) because it makes their legs look hot, wearing tight clothing to show off curves, waxing, plucking, dying hair, and I suppose nowadays you could extend that into getting cosmetic surgery. Just to clarify, my grandad wasn't a dick, I remember the saying coming up because we were watching a show with really attractive women and I was in awe of them and he explained that constructed superficial beauty comes at a price =) Oh and if you don't get the imagery, it's based on seeing "stars" when you hit your head/get dizzy, like if you've ever seen the cartoon representation of stars around the head when they get hit.
*To be continued