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Friday, December 28, 2012

8:00 AM

I'd like to thank whoever created these butt pads. They're super comfy.
Mmmm butt padding, shared by hundreds. Tasty.

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Friday, December 21, 2012

11:03 AM

Part of me totally hopes the world ends tonight. I mean it won't really matter right? We'll all be dead together <3

Xx


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Saturday, December 15, 2012

7:07 AM

Buongiorno signorina!!
And guys and old ladies too.
I'm on the curtails of a night shift and decided to throw together a few of my recent buys that I'm kind of in love with. That's incredibly rare you know. Maybe it's because I don't often buy things lol
I was scouting for an Xmas shirt for my mums work choir thingo and stopped by to look at phone cases since mine kept collapsing on me. I'm a mix of lazy and a cheap ass lol because the idea of having to buy a new phone case put me off and the concept of paying for an accessory annoys me but I figured I should really get one seeing as I don't have the greatest track record with my phones. I think I've gone through 3 this year =S I can't really remember. Anyway, I saw one I sort of liked, went to pay before looking at the price and it turned out being twice as much as I thought it would be. I was already at the counter, lol it was too late to turn back. I was pretty meh about it at first but now I freekin love it XD it's actually really sturdy too.




The next thing was a present from my aunty =) she gave me the money and I chose the shoes. I forgot I owned them the other day, then I remembered, I was happy =p








Black velvet docs. Man, I saw the most amazing Cherry red version of these at the end of last year but they were sold out and now they're at Platypus, except only in black. Now that I go back and compare, I prefer the black. Loveeee.

This last purchase I'm not mega in love with, I haven't actually worn them out at all. They're cute but I don't know how to wear it on the daily. I feel like they need a whole wardrobe haul for them to work.






Lol =P
I was feeling inspired by Vod from Fresh Meat so I took out the black lippy and ended up doing a completely different look to her. But I went with it, at this point, that makeup's not going to see the light of day =p Not unles I end up going to Die Maschine or watever goth club people want to go to next week.

And for my next purchase! Looks like I'm buying/getting a laptop from my dad. I'm not sure what the deal is but he's contributing towards it as my Xmas gift. I'm in no rush really, it's for my trip to South America at the end of next year. Maybe I should just wait and ask for the money for a car.
I saw an add the other day and it kind of inspired me to buy one, finally. I have enough and it will get my mum off my back...but I wonder how much of a waste it will be, I don't even have my p's yet =S
Anyway, for now, I want this laptop!



Lol I can't even remember what it's called. I just remember its a Dell and only 12 inches. I want a small one so it's easier to travel with ^.^
Ahh man, if I had a car. First thing I'd do to it is deck it out with a hecticcccc sound system haha. I would totally just sit in it and blast music while sitting in my drive way =p
Anywho...
Gym ^.^

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

12:34 AM

Yeah I gave up trying to read the graphic novel. Ever since hearing Neil Gaiman read his stuff aloud I've wanted to read some of his work but I didn't know it would be a Comic book =.= oh wellsss.
They're playing Tekken street fighter. Boringgggg. So instead I want to pull out that post I wanted to write about the beach the other day.
Like I mentioned before I had the most perfect day at Wattamolla. I realized how important that place is to me. I got all these romanticized ideas about wanting to have that beach be a part of my life, like a place that will always have some sort of presence and importance in my life. While I was there I remembered that I learnt how to swim there and how one of my favorite photos as a kid is of me, my aunty and mum bush walking there.
That place has so much potential. Lol I found myself wanting to actually have a family one day and bringing them there. I've never wanted to have a family that does shit like that before but the park is so beautiful. It has all these different areas that would be perfect. Like where we were playing frisby, I could totally see myself sitting around watching my imaginary extended family playing there. Then there is that look out spot just before our rock, or well lol the rock me and the guys always go to. That spot is so freekin perfect for like an anniversary date picnic mabob haha I feel like such a tool for wanting these things.

For the last 2 years, maybe 3, I've been wanting to go on this night hike at wattamolla but I still haven't found the right person to go with. Maybe Joel? Lol but I know he would never be okay with paying to go hike haha. It sounds sooo awesome though. You hike through the park in the evening and they do some night photography class, then you get down to the beach and they make you dinner and set up tents for you to sleep and in the morning they make you breakfast and then hike back out. Been dying to go since I first read about it. They do it every full moon <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
So while I was there I finally got a chance to play around with the camera I got off Matt. I'm so fail at it, I took a million pics and very few came out decent. I'm trying to learn for the trip to South America next year but I'm still kind of unsure if I want to bring it with me. I'm going to be alone for all the places that I want to photograph and I don't know how safe it is to be lugging around this camera. It's like, LOOK AT ME, I'm a dumbass tourist, steal from me pleaseeeee
.

 Either way, here are some of the shots:









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Monday, December 10, 2012

11:49 PM

Wineeeee at Jamie's. Seriously I don't get how to read comics o.O things flow funny!

Lol hanging out here is always so odd to me. Everyone's in their own world. Jamie is setting up his new Xbox, Courtney's playing on her DS, Meagan is playing on her iPad, Tim and Adam are playing on their phones and Kianie is just eating her mei goreng.

I want more wineeeee

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Friday, December 7, 2012

6:49 AM

I had the most beautiful day yesterday, I went back to Wattamolla, for like the 3rd time this summer period. That initself is a feat, I've even been to the pools this year...THE PUPLIC POOLS gross This summer is turning out to be very...summery. Heh I've even been on a Ferry and the beach at Manly. Odd. I mean, I think last year I didn't even make it out to the beach at all.
Seriously though, yesterday was amazing. A path that had been blocked off was finally open yesterday and we followed it and omg. I need to go back. It was the most perfect bushwalk.
Blah I have to go to work, but fuckmedead it was gorgeous.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

12:23 PM

I tried making chocolate Fondant yesterday.





I failed ={
The centers cooked through *sigh*


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4:12 AM

So I sent off my preferences for my 2nd rotation at the hospital. Time flies....In february it will have been 6 months and I will be sent off to a new ward.

Here they are:



To be honest I don't know where I want to go. My mum and aunty are pushing me to go to ICU, there's some sort of snobbery about being in ED or ICU. The nurses there are meant to be 'better' and kept on their toes more. I don't really care. I know I enjoyed my last two pracs in cardiology, so thats why most of my choices are heart related but I only put in CCU before the others because it's more specialised and I know my family would want me there instead of on the wards. Respiratory only popped into my head yesterday, I had never considered it but I guess I wouldn't mind. Be a total change for me. And MAU was out of really not wanting to go to the other places listed.

Oh well, at this point I think I might actually be bummed if I don't get into ICU. This will be my only comfortable attempt at seeing what it's like. I just won't be qualified to work in ICU on a casual basis after and applying to work there with no support would be petrifying. Not that I think it's where I want to go, but I might one day and by not doing it now I'm potentially closing that door for good.

Ugh nursing talk...yuck.

Although something I've been meaning to bust out for ages:


One of the girls at Jamie's halloween party was dressed as a sexy nurse. I put on her cap.
This year I was told quite a few different times that I should dress up as a nurse for halloween because I am one..getit *ahyuck* 
I spent a lot of time debating this in my head. I wasn't sure if I was okay with that portrayal of nurses, not because I'm all like, militant about halloween sluts or anything, tbh I would be one too if I could pull it off, it was more because I am a nurse and I need to take what I do seriously. Sadly a lot of it has to do with how people see me, what people might think. As silly as it might sound, I don't want to have a patient one day who saw me dressed up a sexy nurse and then be all wierd and think that I fuck around with my patients. I know,it's far fetched but that would be awkward. I guess I don't really want anyone I've ever partied with to be a patient. It's stupid I guess but I do feel this pressure from people to be more responsible because I'm a nurse. I have had it directly thrown in my face before which is really frustrating because it's retarded that I'm expected to be a model citizen because I studied in a field that promotes a healthy lifestyle. I feel it at work too, like I should be ashamed that I drink alcohol and stuff and I do play everything down. Not that it's an active thing I have to think about a lot, I don't exactly socialise that much with my workmates or talk to them about anything other than work but if it ever comes up I just keep my mouth shut. I would never let myself get drunk infront of them, or even tipsy. I guess that's why I'll never be friends with anyone at work, I keep my guard up a lot. I'd rather keep their perspective of me neutral, at best I want to hear the words 'lovely' 'polite' and 'nice'. All basic descriptors for boring and forgettable.

Anyway I had this little conversation the other day:

Guy: so your a nurse hahahahaha the imagination goes wild when you tell men for sure Me: Lol I never quite understood the sexualisation of nurses. Our uniforms from the getgo have always been hideous and unflattering. Plus like, when you're that sick that you're in hospital your sex drive generally dies right? Lol... Maybe it's the whole being cared for thing, but that's kind of creepy to me because that seems like a motherly trait to me, so it's like you want to bang your mum. Yeah I don't get it =p I should watch more nurse related porn, maybe that will give me a better understanding. *sigh* there I go again, being politely passive aggressive

What a twat.

I've brought this point up with a few guys. I still don't get exactly what it is that makes the nurse thing sexy. Any takers?
Being sick has never been a fantasy for me, I'm pretty sure that's not what gets them going though. I ..just..yeah I don't get it.
And from a nurse point of view. Yuck. Sick people are sick. And naked bodies are just bodies. I've never been sexually turned on by the site of anyone, and that includes people I've fucked. I have never experienced that phenomenon ever. Sure I've seen attractive people but I've never wanted to fuck someone because they're physically attractive. I only get turned on by direct mental stimulation and physical contact.

Lol I've actually had bf's get annoyed and self-conscious about the fact that I see naked men at work a lot. That's mental to me, naked bodies aren't a sexual thing for me, even less at work. Like a strip or burlesque show, that shit will NEVER turn me on, I enjoy watching it because it's a form of dance and it's gutsy and usually impressive how they tell a story or the way they can move. It's why I feel uncomfortable with male strippers, there is very little in the way of dancing and a whole fuck load of package thrusting, I feel embarrassed and uncomfortable seeing that. It is the very definition of lewd behaviour in my mind.

This on the other hand is sexy as fuck, but no I don't want to fuck them, but MAN do i wish I could find me a man who can dance like that. I was seeing this guy earlier this year who was a fucking excellent dancer, and it's so much funnnn. To move in synchronicity with that is the best feeling.




Mind you I find it kind of awkward that these guys are just showcasing their grinding abilities, I would have enjoyed the video more if they had danced a full song.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

12:33 AM

It's so hard being supportive ={
I want the best for him and I want him to be happy but it still hurts that it doesn't involve me at all.

I wish there was other more important things in my life right now, I don't like the amount of time spent thinking about this.


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Saturday, December 1, 2012

3:25 AM

While having my 5th shower today I remembered something. My first crush. I was in primary school, year 5, the boys had left at that point and for some reason that meant I got my first crush. It was on a boy who had always been really mean to me. He clearly did not like me, and was a general dick to me back then. Lol..he was probably the meanest person to me that I had ever experienced up until that point. One time he chucked the biggest stink Infront of the whole class because our teacher had moved me from where I was sitting because someone was cheating off me at my table and so she put me in the only other free seat which just happened to be next to him. He refused to have me sit next to him until my teacher caved and made someone get out of their chair and move.
While I was showering I realised that my first crush was on someone who hated me...how could I possibly have already been messed up by the age of 10. I didn't realize that from such a young age I was already attracted to people who treated me like shit. What the fuck is with that =S
Odd.

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