Bonjour XD You've just stumbled onto my blog. Enjoy =]
MEOW
Moi.
Basics.
Name: Andrea J
D.O.B: 04.02.91
Age: 22 years old
Nationality: Australian
Heritage: Chilean
A Life Worth Living.
Musac.
Friday, August 24, 2012
8:28 PM
I wish I had posted how I was doing while it was happening. It's been 2 weeks now since I started working full time at the hospital but I've only officially been working 'alone' on the ward for 2 days. My first week was all lectures about the hospital and OH&S type stuff. This week I had 2 supernumery days, 1 day of lectures and 2 days on the ward.
My first day of corporate orientation I felt and looked like this:
I was super happy that I started and I knew I was in for an easy week. That Monday was brilliant, I woke up with the sun shinning and like I normally do, I played a song to match my mood and wake me up some more.
Hasta que salga el sol - Don Omar
It was so great hearing it that it finally hit me. I'm finally where I'm supposed to be. Where I spent pretty much all of highschool working towards, the last 3 years at uni working towards. I've finally finished uni and have a career. The one I will most likely stay in for my entire life (I'm definitely swapping it up later but I'm pretty sure I'm staying in the general field). I don't have to feel guilty, or like I don't matter because I'm not earning a full salary. I can make real plans and do what I want with my money. I can do all those stupid things we were taught we're supposed to do with our lives, get a job, buy a car, buy a house, travel the world. So as I was listening to that song dancing around in my room and getting ready it hit me and I burst into happy tears haha. The rest of my day was great, I guess being in a good mood rubs off on other people and I made friends instantly and every single person I came across was super nice and friendly.
Even the lecture started off amazingly because they were screening the London 2012 Olympic Closing ceremony. It started at 6am and since it was now 8am, it was wrapping up...and the BEST bit was starting! The introduction of what was to come for the 2016 Olympics in BRAZIL!! Motherfuckrssss! If you know anything about me, then you should know that Brazil brings me joy to no end! The dancing, the music, the flora, the costumes, the bodies! FUCK ME DEAD. So there I was sitting in this lecture hall when it started. A lone janitor plastered on the wall infront of me, tapping his feet to the rhythm. He then burst into a full on samba routine and my heart leapt <3 ...but I looked like a crazy person dancing in my seat, sadly they turned it off within 5 minutes because we had to start the lecture. I still haven't seen the entire closing ceremony.
I'm going to take that closing ceremony as a good omen =P and so far everything has been fantastic.
That first week was nice, it felt like being in highschool again. I sat with the same 2 dudes the entire day, had morning tea and lunch with them and even hung out with them after work was over a few times. It was so nice. Shame I won't really see them again, we're all on different wards and even if I did work with them we would be flat out trying to get everything done.
This week I was much more tired. I had to get up a little earlier and actually being on the floor was intense. My first day on my own was crazy hectic. I was so tired and stressed on my break. I really needed to wind down. Today wasn't too bad, I think it was mostly because I had a patient crash yesterday so I spent a lot of time dealing with that and falling behind on my work with the other patients. Still, it wasn't the worst nursing experience I have been through and everyone was amazingly supportive and helpful. Things could have been way WAY worse so I'm content =)
Hehe I was so excited to have a uniform. I still feel good wearing it:
Anyway I'll keep writing more eventually. I should figure out where this train is =S
EDIT: I wrote this in the car on the way to drop off Denise, my..step sister =S at the airport. I never finished it, hadn't slept but was in a good mood =)
Bonjour mon amie!
And for once, that actually applies. I haven't gotten up this early for a few weeks, haven't had a morning shift for ages. At the moment though, me mum and Marko are on our way to drop of Denise to the airport to send her back to Portugal. A tiny part of me wanted her gone so I could have more privacy but in all honesty things were actually a little better for me with her here. It got the heat off me haha I suddenly became either super useful or I could get away with going out non stop without ever hearing a single complaint because they were so exhausted looking after her. The great thing is they didn't end up relying on me to look after her at all. I even got out of cooking for the whole family. It was a nice break not being the one being complained about.
It feels like lots of things are wrapping up right now what with Denise leaving and me starting work soon. Mostly it's just that sense that time is running out for me when it really shouldn't feel so final. I have exactly one week left before I start working full time in the new graduate program at the hospital as a proper RN.
I've been working casual all year but as an assistant and in mental health so the roles will be vastly different but I'm really looking forward to it. I've been in conflicting states of mind at times, mostly because I feel like I just want to end this now and just be an adult already with a full time job and getting my life together.
As much as I enjoy hanging out with friends every day, blowing my money on fun stuff 'in the moment' and either partying or enjoying different experiences that I won't be able to do as frequently when I work full time, I sorta just want to be done with it. I feel guilty living my life like this, it makes me feel like a bum whose wasting her life away and the only thing that kept me content and at ease was knowing that I had this job lined up and my career set up for life. Hanging out with certain friends would make me anxious occasionally. I was constantly feeling like I'm too old for this kind of shit and not understanding how some people are content to sit on their lorels with no real direction. I can't handle that idea.
I don't regret having taken this 6 month break before starting at all! But I have to admit it was too much at times, there were definitely days (maybe just like 2 weeks worth) where I wanted to be working full time already. At the beginning it was just when I was running out of things to do but then I found my groove and could find somewhere to go, always! It was so great =) I hope I always look back on these last few months as happy times in my life because it will probably be the only time in my life that I get to have as much freedom with such little responsibility as I did. No one to really answer to, no bills to pay, no studying or assessments, just time and as much money as I made working casual at my own discretion. Then my feelings for wanting it to be over would pop up when I was running myself into the ground. I felt like I had to rationalize my behavior by putting it into the context that I won't be able to do this forever and I should get it done now. Then I would get sad when I would realize that some of the people I was hanging with don't really have an end point.
Ahhh man, it was pretty bleak 2 nights ago. I went to a party at a 26yr olds place and man, I felt like I was drowning. I couldn't handle thinking about my life still being like this at that age.
I feel like, working full time gives me the right to be considered a proper adult. Someone who is a productive member of society. It's not just that though, I associate that work with finally having the money and autonomy to make my own decisions about how I spend my money. Choosing my own clothes and accessories, which to be honest I've never done until this last month really. I've never placed much value in clothing and owning stuff and it always seems like so much hassle and in the past I still had to go through my mum to get money to buy clothes so I would usually just get her to buy it for me and I was so picky that mum would just get annoyed and choose whatever she wanted and buy it if I liked it or not. I always felt guilty asking for money from mum so I lived pretty damn poor for the last...20 years of my life haha. I'm really looking forward to the end of next year. Im planning a really big south American trip for a couple of months. It will be my first time paying for my own overseas trip, my own trip going alone and having my own money and choosing 100% what I want to do. SO PUMPED.
There are heaps of things Im looking forward to finally being able to do. Sadly this world runs on money and now I will finally have it. This means the freedom to finally live independently from my mum, and it probably doesn't mean the same for a lot of people but for me that means to live a healthier lifestyle. The money to buy my own food which I've been doing on and off all year but I didn't always have the money when I was working casual. I would much rather choose fun than healthy food lol.
Working also means access to the hospital gym and hopefully I get into the habit of working out after every shift. Something sustainable and healthy so I can get my shit in order =)
This is what I've wanted since I was a kid, I know it sounds weird but I've always aspired to having a full time job and living a healthy active lifestyle, you know like what all those commercials on tv made me think was what I wanted from life. To be a blond skinny white woman in an apartment living by herself, eating steamed veggies and fish while still wearing her sports bra, Adidas joggers and leggings because she clearly just came back from a run on the beach, while probably washing her face with some cleanser and splashing her face, and waking up to ocean views while eating some low fat yoghurt or Special K.
At least it's not wildly unrealistic right? Hehe
So there's the excitement of my first chance at being able to travel overseas on my own terms, buy my own clothes, buy my own food and work out more easily + a few other things. Like being able to finally start fixing up my room the way I want it! Years I've wanted to! In the old house my room looked like a 9 year old girl girls dream, and this room is plain and sad. I've kept it that way since moving in because I want to make it ME. I HAVE HUGE PLANS! And I have the money now! First purchase (unless I see the perfect couch b4 then) will be a big LCD, hopefully 3D once the OLED's drop around November and everything goes dirt cheap.
So one day I was hanging out with Kurt and we realised that there are some pretty wacky sayings in the spanish language.
Each Spanish speaking country has their own sayings, metaphors and similies but these are a few that I have collected over the last year or so.
Every time I hear my mum or grandma say a new one I text Kurt XD It has become somewhat of a little tradition for me now =]
Saying: La negrita astuta vende fruta.
Direct Translation: The (Astute, cunning, sly, crafty, fraudulent) cute/little black girl sells fruit.
Meaning: This saying is said as a sort of warning that you are/someone else is a cocktease
Saying: No calientes el agua (si no vas a tomar té)
Direct Translation: Don't heat the water if you're not going to drink tea
Meaning: This is also a sort of warning to someone who is being a cocktease. Kind of like, don't flirt and lead someone on if you have no intention of hooking up with them. It is also a play on words because in Spanish (Chilean at least) the word calentar (to heat) is also used informally as a way to say 'make horny'. So 'estoy caliente' = I'm hot BUT it means I'm horny. If you wanted to say I'm hot (because of the weather) you would say 'tengo calor'
Tongue Twister: Tres tristes tigres trigo trillaron tranquilos tragaron
Translation: Three sad tigers, wheat they threshed (To separate the grain from the straw or husks by mechanical beating), calmly they swallowed.
Tongue Twister:Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira pobre pintor portugués pinta paisajes por poca plata para pasar por París
Translation: Pedro Pablo Pérez Pereira poor Portugese painter paints landscapes for little money to pass through Paris.
Saying:Buscarle la quinta pata al gato
Direct Translation:To look for the 5th leg of the cat
Meaning: Looking for problems when there clearly aren't any in that situation, so you're over thinking it and overcomplicating yourself.
Saying: Para ser bella hay que ver estrellas
Direct Translation: To be beautiful you have to see stars
Meaning: I'm guessing this is a fairly old saying because my grandad said it to me once, I kind of fell in love with this little rhyme/mantra. It means that no pain is too great to endure in order to look your best, this particularly refers to women having to wear painful shoes (stilettos) because it makes their legs look hot, wearing tight clothing to show off curves, waxing, plucking, dying hair, and I suppose nowadays you could extend that into getting cosmetic surgery. Just to clarify, my grandad wasn't a dick, I remember the saying coming up because we were watching a show with really attractive women and I was in awe of them and he explained that constructed superficial beauty comes at a price =) Oh and if you don't get the imagery, it's based on seeing "stars" when you hit your head/get dizzy, like if you've ever seen the cartoon representation of stars around the head when they get hit.
*To be continued
To Do.
Here's a list of some of the things I would like to do or accomplish or places I want to visit in my lifetime =]
* I have already been there, done that or started to read that but would like to do it again or complete the task
-- The task is completed and I don't feel the need to do a repeat
