COME ON!
Yet another post lost because of my phone. Stupid buggy BlogPress app. I PAID MONEY FOR YOU! work goddammit. It used to be really reliable but for the last 4 or 5 months it either won't connect to the server or it says that it has published and saved a local draft when it really hasn't. Super frustrating seeing as I hardly post as it is.
I can't remember what I was blabbering on about in my last post. I do remember ranting on some more about how great Monsieur Camembert are. If you catch this in time go see them perform! They're playing for free again tomorrow at the Art Gallery of NSW. I really wanted to go again but it's my mums stupid birthday. So I have to stick with her all day even though I know while we're at home we're going to be in separate rooms anyway. Beh, she's one of those people who you can't win with, like me I suppose lol I'm sure Tim could tell you a lot about that haha he always got the worse end of that stick.
What I mean by I can't win is that she's going to do that thing where she gets annoyed if I go out and have fun and do my own thing because it's her birthday..which is reasonable I suppose (doesn't mean I'm happy about it) BUT while I'm at home all day, she will be ignoring me or we will both choose to stay in separate areas of the house, therefore making the whole ordeal moot.
*pause*
Blah mum just came home from work, she was complaining about work. I hate when that happens, I really really don't care =( I generally don't like talking about nursing with other people in the field because it's obnoxious as shit. I have to deal with my own nursing crap on my own time, don't make me think about it even more when I'm not at work.
I'm not very..into my family. I don't hate them or anything but ehhh. I know I should feel guilty but I don't right now, so you know, I'll just regret it later on when they're dead =) It's small things, kind of like how I'm pretty sure if I moved out I would never call or visit. I'd probably screen their calls and ignore them as much as possible. I'm a horrible person :(
ANYWAY on a less negative note, I've been having a pretty awesome time lately. I'm in a good position right now. I have enough money without working very much and I'm making enough that I can go out pretty much every day and have funnnn and doing all the things I always wanted to do. As soon as I start full time work it won't be as easy and i'll settle down willingly by that point. Until then, I'm in overdrive. That's why I was kind of bummed this arvo. I was supposed to go out but there was a few bumps in the road and didn't make it in time and then everyone had work and blah. BORING. So I've just been catching up on tv shows. Blah so much mind blocking. Being alone is hard when you don't have something to distract yourself from your own stupid thoughts.
I had a pretty random and fun time last night, we ended up meeting up with some people and went fishing in parra river (ICK) at like 3am. I've never seen anyone fishing up close haha I was all excited. We left before they caught any fish though =(
I had tuna at a japanese restaurant on wednesday and I've been craving it ever since. I don't know what the hell they do to the tuna but it tastes so damn amazing. That may be because I've never tried fresh tuna and I've only ever eaten it from a can (which I really like anyway) but ughhh. I should try to find out how they make it. SO TASTY. mmmm tuna.
I also saw 21 Jump Street last night. I hadn't really heard much about it, I had never seen the show, the plot sounded ridiculous and lame. I went regardless and it turned out to be hilarious. I haven't laughed at a movie in the longessssst time. It was great, I laughed out loud pretty much the entire way, as did most of the theatre so I'm guessing the movie is doing well based on our reactions. Really really unexpectedly funny =D
And to think! I almost campaigned for us to watch Hunger Games instead. I still sort of want to see it because everyone is all uaihdaouehfaof over it. Doesn't sound like my kind of movie but I'm choosing to stay away from the trailer in case I do see it. Expectations are the worst!
I also saw 2001: A space Odessy. It's this real old
*pause*
argh I was talking to mum again, it's officially her birthday now. We started talking, and because I'm now annoyed and need to vent, here goes:
My mum has been convinced for AGES that this guy likes me and we always end up arguing over it because I KNOW he doesn't. It really irks me, mostly because I quite easily start crushing on people once I think they like me. It's happened to me several times, and it's annoying and never ends up well because the crush is coming from an unhealthy place. It's worse when other people have been the ones who convinced me that someone has a thing for me because in those instances it would become this weird unrequited crush and my friends have always been wrong. I end up crushing on someone who doesn't actually like me and I end up getting hurt. It's much easier when I can see clearly that the person is interested and I have picked up on the signals myself and haven't listened to someone else's crap. So nowadays, now that I have realised that this is how this works, I'm avoiding the potential source of pain and I get really agro when people say someone has a crush on me. I don't even want to entertain their ideas in my head incase I fall into that trap again!
So in this particular case, when I say I KNOW he doesn't like me...well, I don't know that but it's easier to assume he doesn't and make things less complicated right? Blah it's stupid, part of me wants someone to give me the 'all clear' on this situation and allow me to fall into that stupid crush cycle but ehh what's the point. I am sort of getting mixed signals from this person but you know, who isn't these days. BLAH watever, if he actually cared he would say something. My mum's stupid argument is that he's shyyy, like as if that's a valid reason to make concessions for someone. PEOPLE ARE STUPID. Stop fucking with my head -.-
ERGH this is all pointless and empty anyway. I don't even like this person, what I do like, is being liked. It's all very selfish and ego boosting. Like I'm sure I've mentioned in previous posts, I haven't ever done much 'chasing' at all. Most of the time I've gotten into relationships or started anything, however insignificant it may have been, the other person has shown interest first and then I've gone with it. I'd like to point out that it has nothing to do with being coy or not wanting to make the first move, because I've done that like twice...it didn't work out for me haha. I just don't really fall for people unless I feel like they like me first. I like them because they like me. That's so shallow and superficial. Blah needy and insecure much =.=
Stupid stupidness! beh.
Anyway! back to the Space Oddesy. We watched it for free at the Museum. I'm not going to lie, I came into it expecting to get bored but I went regardless because it is a classic and you never know, maybe it would be interesting, also I wanted to go out and I knew we would end up drinking and eating somewhere which is always good ...plus I thought the movie was 20mins long. MAN was I wrong. It goes for 2hrs and 40mins..maybe 30? DEAR LORD the beginning was dull, that movie could have easily been half as long if they had shortened the bajillion pointless shots of the outside of the space ship. There was some talking around the middle of the film so I sorta tunned in more, but yeah...I pretty much missed most of it. There was some really trippy scenes once they FINALLY got to Jupiter and the quality of all the effects was really impressive throughout the film considering it was made in the 60's. Verdict: far too long. I had a good night regardless, that's when I got the tunaaa! mmmm tuna.
If you've made it this far, I'm impressed. I really don't have anything important to say. I think in the post that got deleted I wrote a little about sexpo. I'll shorten it so basically it was awesome! I bought so much stuff! Which felt crazy in itself. I very rarely buy things, I have a super hard time justifying purchases. So I put my stingyness aside and tried to relax. The expo itself was really good, it was like the easter show for sex XD. So many people complained though, SO MANY, and every year it's the same thing. Everyone always leaves dissapointed because they didn't get to see any actual sex. It's not a fucking swingers club! I figured it was pretty clear that the event is basically a big adult store sale. I knew what I was going there for and I got it so I'm happy.
The only disappointment (a major one at that!) was the Laptorium. It was the first time I was ever in a pole dancing/lapdancing scenario but I didn't expect it to be like that. I think I've been to far too many burlesque shows and creative performances and it's tarnished my view on what to expect from strippers.
FALSE ADVERTISING. The flyer said pole dancing all day. That's what I expected =.= That's most definitely not what I got. We had to pay to get in so I assumed that was it. I didn't know I would have to keep forking out money just to see them strip. It was fucking bullshit. The girls would rotate so quickly, one would come up to the pole, dance for about 20 seconds and then get off stage and start hustling the audience for more cash so that she would strip off some layers or give a lap dance/private show. I knew you had to pay more for the lap dances and private stuff but come on! I paid money to see people on the pole. Instead I would see a girl dance every 10mins for 20seconds, not even to the damn BEAT. Only 2 of them even climbed up the damn pole. WASTE. What made things worse was their attitude, they would get really bitchy and mean if you didn't want a lapdance. The MC was even worse, he spent the entire time calling the audience fucking cheap bastards and swearing and telling us off for not paying for private shows. It really changed my opinion of strippers lol. I had always glamorized it a lot more in my head. I didn't realise it was so heavily based on money. I get it, they have to make money somehow...but still it was sad. I'm used to burlesque performers, men and women who want to seduce the crowd and want nothing in return other than to put on a great show, people who take kinkynes and make it an artform. Not some stupid stripper who just wants money.
poohpooh.
Anyway I'm going to try and watch this episode of community =]
ttyl
Xx
