Bonjour lovelies
I haven't exactly been bored today, but I've been on a bit of a cleaning spree, not entirely sure why...I guess its just that Ive caught up with my shows, don't want to leave the house or sit here and talk to people on msn.
Spent a large chunk of time on youtube watching michelle pham makeup tutorials lol
I've noticed that I'm applying makeup on a more regular basis compared to b4. Not entirely sure how I feel about that. I was somewhat against wearing a lot of makeup (especially through highschool). My mum had managed to brainwash me into believing that only whores wore makeup every day..lol those were her exact words (but in spanish ^.^). I remember being little..like in primary school...and wanting to paint my nails and my grandma going into an outrage, only SLUTS wear nailpolish....i got an even worse reaction when I painted my toenails red one day. lol... after that little incident I kind of got away with painting my nails occasionally..still getting disapproving looks from my family but at least it wasnt the TOENAILS *oh the horror*
lol.. so I spent most of high school associating makeup with skanks and whores..haha, it probably didn't help that my school had a no makeup policy, only reinforcing that whole notion that it was bad. Wearing a bit of eyeliner to school = being rebelious haha. By the time we were in our senior years teachers were less strict and all the habbibies caked on their faces every morning emitting that lovely orange glow. So you know, even more negative associations.
Fast-forward to today and everythings gone topsy turvy =.= its annoying. Now if I leave the house without some sort of junk on my face mum gets annoyed at me and says i dont look presentable. Then there's people like kurt who think ur just being lazy if you dont apply something. Nowadays, I look at myself in the mirror without makeup and I feel ugly, which I really hate. That a bit of paint means so much. Yet you still get people who dont notice if u have anything on at all, or just to make me a bit more confused, dont like makeup at all. I guess Im supposed to end this mini rant with BUT WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. But thats a load of crap, everyone cares about how other people perceive you, to different extents, and sure u shouldnt make it the sole reason you do things but its true.
Anyway, Im not very good at applying it and I still dont bother with all that extra crap like concealer and foundation and primer and highliter and bronzer or even blush..but ehh, its fun to play with. Ive spent many hours just messing around with different colours and shades ^.^ Its like facepaint but less dramatic (another one of my favourite passtimes). =]
lol i even considered doing a proper makeup course after I finished hsc just for the sake of it, coz its fun =] but as usual I never got round to it, plus it was too expensive and its not like I want to become a makeup artist. I'm not very good at applying it on other people, Ive tried...not a good idea haha
lol..that was unexpected, I was actually going to talk about sex, one night stands and virgins haha. Last night I went to Williams 19th and I felt like I was bombarded with talk about sex. I dont get it...sure its..good and stuf :S but really, why do so many people have it on the brain 24/7, its not that big a deal. I feel like society places WAY too much importance on it. But then at the same time..I feel paranoid that maybe theres something wrong with me for not caring all that much. I dont know..its all just confusing. Ive met very few girls in my age group who are as obsessed with sex as much as boys are, Ive generally just put sex into the boy category. Something that only they find endlessly fascinating. So when I do find the rare girl who is that into sex it really ..puts me off haha..and confuses me. double standards i guess.
I don't feel that this has anything to do with being empowered or the tabboos and the sexist oppression of females in western society BLAHFUCKINGBLAH...(for me at least) im not scared of sex, trying new things or talking about it. Recently (over the last couple of months) Ive been introduced or..exposed to a crowd who seem to, not exactly glorify, but appreciate one night stands. A very small part of me tells me to be happy for these people when they're telling me their stories of conquest (how wrong does that sound =.=). They obviously...worked hard to lure someone in and this should be..rejoiced..:S Im confused. LOL...I don't feel pity on these girls because they should know what their getting into. Its easier to just accept that every guy who hits on you wants to get into ur pants and every form of contact prior to this event has been carefully planned in the hopes of this happening. Occasionally, someone will like you for your personality..but this is rare.
Anyway back to my confusion. A larger part of my mind wonders how these people don't get bored of random hook ups and one night stands and why are they so proud of them :S Being in a relationship with someone who cares about you and actually gives a damn about what happens to you is so much more meaningful and satisfying.
or maybe im just being an idiot. Ive done the whole random hook up thing. I enjoyed it..it didn't last very long but it was pretty liberating knowing that it doesn't have to mean anything. But for me it was more a self esteem thing haha..i like feeling wanted ^.^ And i never did any chasing..like im bothered haha or..have the guts to.
hmm..Im going to assume that everyone wants to end up in a loving relationship. And all these small encounters are just to pass the time =]
..lol I actually feel a lot better now haha SEE thats why I like blogging it helps me sort out my ideas.
oh right and virgins. Tilbrook said last night something about dismissing everything a virgin says because they have no life experience. Don't quote me on that, maybe I missunderstood. But it got me thinking. Initially I thought it was a very harsh statement...I still think that. Having sex does not make you mature. A 12 year old can fuck her little boyfriend that doesnt make her any more mature...AHH wait. I think he was reffering to older virgins..like in their 20's hmm.... But see I can respect that. Not so much the no sex b4 marriage religious bullshit...I'll only accept it its because ur being all romantic and actually want to share the experience with your "one true love" and blah...but even then, that sounds ridiculous.or maybe ur just not ready..or some sort of traumatic incident making u scared. whatever, its ur body.
Anyway..back to the point. I was slightly swayed by his argument, only because I think loosing your virginity does help SOME women loose all that romance bullshit. But that's just me and my cynical view on things. And I pretty much felt the same b4 I had lost my virginity. (you know the whole..guys only want sex view) But that's more of a defense mechanism =] Anyway my point is, having sex does NOT make you more mature, or make any of the things you have to say any more important than anyone else. I know several people who are still virgins who's opinions and ideas I hold in higher esteem than my own and probabaly always will. so.. =p
lol
oh and as a side note. ive met a couple of girls who call themselves virgins, and say they're waiting for marriage and the whole shebang. Yet they do everything under the sun except for having vaginal intercourse. I find them highly hypocritical. my opinion: your retarded. Just have sex you horny skanks. its not gona make you a bad person -.-
ps: if ur not ready then fine but seriously...saving urself..pfft
meow =]
wow..its now 9.08pm haha
I might have some pics to upload here later =]
xx.
Andy
