Morning Daffodils
hope your well ^.^
I didnt leave the house today XD
it was great, I havent had a good sleep in since like...last year! which is really odd since I had them pretty regularly in le past..ehh anyway. it even seemed to cure my cold ^.^
I feel refreshed..except that now my eyes are working too hard to use this screen GAH need new glasses :( i lost them about 3 weeks ago on the train i think.
So i was meant to go to Kianies surprise farewell lunch at some jap restaurant on george street...I wasn't too keen considering the last time i went to "some jap restaurant" in the city it was a shithouse experience, we split the bill amongst the group and basically all the asians stuffed themselves while everyone else was like..eww wtf is this ate 2 grains of rice and had to pay about $20 =.=
WAGAYA sucks balls!
anywho, It would have been nice to go and say goodbye to the lovely Kianie (shes going to teach engrish in china for 6 months ^.^) but..it was hot..lol and I had nothing to wearrrr...and mommmmy was getting pissed off at me for going out non-stop. So i decided to just stay home. We actually did get most of the study room done and unpacked a couple more boxes ^.^
we baddly need to paint the bird poop/cockroack splatter wall it looks gross. We've chosen a pale lime green..if that makes sense =]
I still can't decide what colour to do my room...suggestions? Im thinking a dark but warm shade of purple as a feature wall and maybe... GAH im not good at colours!
or the feature wall could be a bloody red...but i dont want the other walls to be that shitty cream/vanilla colour it is at the moment.
Im also excited to fix up the garage coz once thats done we can have a house warming/birthday/welcoming home parties lol but there is SO much to do there...expensiveness too :( we need to..or I want to, gyproc the walls coz at the moment its just the outside and the wood frames + paint the gyproc, make a room in the corner and make the toilet into a more..toilety looking place. Plus get some old couches or something and put it in there so we can sit...and not let Bobby sit on them so they STINK like the last ones haha
Now all that seems doable..not so easy is cementing the grass up till about the clothes line...i dont like having that much grass and so close to the house..plus that way people can sit under light while in the backyard at night n not freak out coz of all the bugs hiding in the lawn. I have NOOO idea how much that would cost either..*sigh*
oh and install the aircons GOD this house is hot and humid. + fix lights, take out the beam light thingo in my room and put in an indoorsy one, add more *i looked this up on google for 5 minutes b4 finding it* wall sockets AHAHA
wiki says theyre FEMALE..that made me laugh...=( u had to be there..
anyway YES more wall sockets in the appropriate places, this house is fucked theres hardly any sockets. Put in curtains, finish the study, get a new stove, buy a digital tv (not that we even watch tv), get a new bedroom set for my room, find me a nice lamp and a carpet/matt thing, wash the outside of the house and while ur at it
buy me a car...
get my p's
get a job
... probably not in that order,
beh
butttt I really do need that job..so i can save up and pay for driving lessons seeing as mumsy will NEVER take me =.= shes actually changed her mind from being too busy to take me to actually refusing until i get actual lessons =.=
so once i have money + can drive = more freedom ^.^....der
but its not like I dont already have a lot of freedom..i just feel increadibly bad asking for money all the time and shes (mother) over giving me lifts...and i feel bad every time stef drives me somewhere ..and tim now too *sigh* plus i feel guilty since im never deso driver..i wanna give other people a break, its slack. Plus not having as much money and feeling guilty has resulted in me going to a lot less gigs =.= not happy...see b4 i was going to more shows BUT its not like i was OMFG I NEED TO GO...so now, since i know im not obsessed with these bands, ive decided just not to go. But that = no gigs, since im not obsessed with any music/bands which is a little sad in itself.
For instance: I would like to go to Imogen Heap BUT i wont die if i dont go and im not that bothered
oh yer! thats another thing. Most people dont like the bands I want to see enough to waste $50+ seeing them. Ive gone to a couple gigs alone and Im fine with that..but i feel even less motivated to go knowing that there isnt good company, and now looking back on the shows i did go to alone..I probably wouldnt bother now..GOD IM LAZY. I always thought, yer! i want a job so that when i buy tickets to shows n stuf i can pay for someone and drag them along with me....but u know what. Im not that generous LOL andddd again, not worth it.
Bahh someone please find me something to get truly excited about =.= I havent felt properly excited in the LONGEST time. its really quite shit. everything is pretty meh. I hate that feeling...but lol..u know, I dont care enough to do something about it. ITS A VISCIOUS CYCLE I TELLS YA
lol i think ive finally run out of things to say ^.^
btw this is what most of my private blogs are like..lol a realllly long rant about nothing =] just what floats in my head =]
OH YER
lol
kurt!
I read his blog todaysh and I felt really bad coz i hadnt since thursday and I had missed an important post on sunday which was partly about me ={
"I’m scared I’m losing people. In particular Artiene and Andrea...Andy has been like super busy recently and most of the time it has been with Tim...I think she might be getting bored of me...I can’t help but think she’d rather be somewhere else."
well thats the generall gist of it =[ it made me sadddd and feel guilty. It's true that ever since we went to jb me and tim have spent a lot more time together, things are really going well =] and its not long b4 he starts uni again or i start working..and we both get busy and we wont be able to see each other as much so Im taking advantage of this free time period. BUT thats also no excuse for not making more time to see kurt =( and properly. Basically every time since the week after new years that we've hung out Ive been majorly stressed with moving houses, packing/unpacking, doing assessments WHILE he was with me ={, being overly tiered or sick. So I havent been able to enjoy the time weve spent together. SO starting from now I think we're going to need one day a week of just me and him. no distractions no sleepyness. so we can keep this "long distance" friendship alive lol =]
Over the last year Ive gotten closer to kurt than Ive ever b4, its the first time Ive ever felt that depth of connection with anyone ever and we just fit right but this new year has started to tear us apart ={ time to put the effort in and mend it ^.^
okay NOW i think im done...
OH lol..no im not XD
im sure by now anyone who had started to read this gave up a longgg time ago ^.^
CAMPING. lol well kurt never booked the cabin we were gona stay in coz i wasnt gona go due to the job thing. I thought the whole thing was off really till today when everyone started talking about it again. We momentarily decided to go bak to camping which made me more keen again coz im not bothered baying over $60=$80 to share a single room with 5 people and eat shittily when I spent $130 for a huge 2 story house with plenty of room, privacy, close to the beach + alko petrol and ate like a king (better than i do at home really). Just didnt seem good value..plus I WANT TO CAMP. buttt then kurt pulled out, which means it would just be me mikel and jolia..which would just b shithouse really. Jolia will be PDA-ing the whole time and me and mikel will have to entertain ourselves and he hates me most of the time so its gona b lame. Plus i cant really b bothered getting wasted for 3 days in a row at this point in time. So then mikel decided to volunteer my place again =.= he tends to do that alot =.= which is annoying considering he treats me like crap unless hes increadibly inebriated. Plus as much as i LOVE having joel and mikel around, theyre heaps of fun. I hate cleaning up after them and feeding them. Mums fine with them coming over, but FUCK they make soooo much mess. If they dont break something they spill something and if they dont do that they stain my couch or light my garage on fire =.= Then theres the feeding *sigh* their teenage boy appetites never seemed to go away as they got older and it gets 10x worse when they're not sober LOL
Like I said, i love them. but wayyy too much to handle over 3 days. that will NOT be a holiday for me. I feel like a maid and chef (two things i dont excel at anyway) and cant chill out properly. one night here and there. okay. but definatly not for three days.
so iunno...theres sorta a road block happening at the moment with that.
Im not too fussed. I dont care either way. if they organise it ill go..but yer its gona b awkward without kurt and theyve basically got a day to book somewhere lol
okay NOW im done
=]
lol...hmm i should sleep...but i think im gona catch up on a show ^.^
TATA
xx
Andy
